Posted by littleone on June 16, 2005, at 21:44:18
In reply to T today - hurt and angry - may trigger, posted by Shortelise on June 16, 2005, at 14:31:33
> I am such a loser.
Definately NOT! You are such a sweet person. And I'm guessing that most terminations are very hard to get through. I would tend to think that if you sailed through termination, it would indicate that things aren't as they should be.
And please remember that no matter what he (or anyone) says, it does not reflect on who you are as a person. If anything, what people say says more about them than you (ie their own anger, their own issues, their own hurt, etc)
> It felt like there wasnothing I could say, so - fiveminutes into the session - I stood and said I didn't want to talk to him anymore at all, and I left, saying audibly as I walked by the receptionist "he's a nasty little man, a nasty little man." That was very mean, but he FEELS like a nasty little man to me right at the moment.
I know that this may not match your feelings, but I am so proud of you. For standing up for yourself. For not tolerating that from him. I sincerely hope that by walking out for the first time ever, he really gets the message that perhaps he could handle this a bit better.
> What did I want? I wanted him to say, you're upset about this I can see. I wanted some kind compassion. Dammit. I feel so hurt.You know I'm struggling with this same sort of thing myself at the moment. I don't know how to help, except to say that it doesn't seem such an unreasonable want. And it does feel hurtful when you don't get it. I hope you find a little on babble.
> He is so wrong in this termination technique. To take away my safe place, my compassionate ally, the place where I felt it was ok to feel as I do - it's wrong to take this away.I must admit, that I just think ouch ouch ouch when you've posted about this. I agree that there must be a gentler way. And I hate the way he's treating you. I've been thinking about your post where you said you sometimes think about minor violence towards your T. And I must admit that at the moment I would love to kick his shins or flick his forehead or maybe just give him a really good poke.
> I feel incurable, like a therapy failure. I have failed. If I were better, if I had succeeded in therapy, I'd be blithely sailing throught this, wouldn't I? I haven't walked out of a therapy session in **three years***.I disagree. If you were blithely sailing through this, it wouldn't be reflective of the strong attachment you've formed with your T. And that's a healthy thing by the way. Plus it is a big loss to grieve. A big part of your life. Both your T and therapy as a whole. Having said that, I don't think it has to be this hard. I mean, he doesn't have to be an *rse about it all, you know.
> I talked with my husband, cried on his shoulder, love him so much.I'm so glad you've got him.
Sorry I was so harsh about your T, it just really gets my goat the way he's treating you.
poster:littleone
thread:513787
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050615/msgs/514047.html