Posted by fallsfall on June 17, 2005, at 6:43:24
In reply to Bad to Worse -- trigger warning, posted by daisym on June 17, 2005, at 0:04:32
>I hate this. And I don't think therapy can help. It seems to be making things worse. I can't get through everything I've got going on without support. But how can I look for his support if I'm going to lash out at him? So what do I do now?
You need to trust that he can take care of himself. He understands the reasons behind your lashing out. You didn't understand your dad's reasons. That is the difference. You need your therapist's support and he wants to give it to you. Don't deny yourself that support, Daisy. You are worth it. You deserve it. You are honestly hurting a lot. Let him help.
You honestly can call him up and say "I know I yelled at you, but right now I need you to help me stay safe." He WILL understand. And he WILL help.
I know that you feel like you are a monster right now - lashing out at the person who is trying to help you. But if you look past the acting out, you can see the hurt and need that you have. You are vulnerable and trying to protect yourself the best way you can. You needed to protect yourself during your dad's visit. But now he has gone back home. So you can be less hyper-vigilant. But give yourself some time to make the change. These things don't happen instantaneously. AND YOUR THERAPIST UNDERSTANDS THAT THEY DON'T HAPPEN INSTANTANEOUSLY. He isn't mad at you for yelling at him. He sees it as part of what you need to do to get from point A to point B. So let him help you. You need his help. He wants to give his help.
Please stay safe.
poster:fallsfall
thread:514140
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050615/msgs/514192.html