Posted by daisym on June 18, 2005, at 0:06:43
In reply to Re: Anxiety, posted by happyflower on June 17, 2005, at 21:01:32
I sometimes channel my anxiety into baking or cleaning. My kids love that. Other times I can't get a handle on it and I need to try to calm myself, which usually means touching base with my therapist. I've found that if I just cave in and do that, I'm better for awhile.
I doubt anyone here will critize you for choosing to go back. I can't tell you how many "I hate therapy" posts I've made and I always go back. I just am a little sad that all you've picked up here is the pain of becoming attached to your therapist. A friend of mine, who is an analyst, said to me today that if you can't get attached to your therapist, you aren't really doing therapy. You've hired an advisor or a life coach, and that is just fine. But it isn't a soul connection that helps you make substantial changes in yourself so that you can live fully and happily. Not everyone needs or wants this kind of a connection. But I will tell you that it is those profound, fleeting moments of perfect attunement that make you realize that happiness might be worth fighting for. It makes you want to be understood and emotionally connected outside of therapy. It gives you hope.
As much as I rail against the boundaries of therapy, especially right now, I am grateful and humbled by the deep connection that has grown. I've never felt this before. It is almost (almost!) completely safe and it is for sure as safe as I've ever felt with anyone. No matter what else happens, I have the memories of those moments that I will always cherish.
I guess what I'm saying is that most of the time I will tell you that the pain is worth it. I don't think that all the time, but when I'm forced to really weigh things out, I realize that I do believe it is. And deep inside, I know that most of my pain is not caused by therapy or my therapist, it is just released and directed at him.
Good luck tomorrow. Let us know how it goes.
poster:daisym
thread:514580
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050615/msgs/514734.html