Posted by Tamar on June 28, 2005, at 15:35:06
In reply to How would you react to termination **trigger**, posted by pinkeye on June 28, 2005, at 14:50:35
> I was just wondering, if my response to abrupt termination was out of line.
>
> How would people react to being terminated abruptly? Will you be able to move on easily?Oh my goodness! No way! If my therapist had terminated me as abruptly as yours I would have fallen to pieces!
Termination was hard enough in a controlled environment. The transference thing takes a while to dissipate (and as you know I'm still transferring like there's no tomorrow). That would be so much harder if I felt deeply rejected and abandoned as well.
One of the things we spent some time on at the end was talking about my feelings of rejection and abandonment, and working out how they fitted into the wider picture of everything we'd been working on in therapy. So ultimately I didn't feel abandoned by my therapist, even though termination raised those abandonment feelings.
We also talked a bit about how sad I felt to be moving on and not seeing him any more. It was very important to me that he understood just how sad I felt.
I'm sure if your therapist had done termination properly he would have gone through the same kind of stuff. But perhaps because he was retiring from therapy he didn't do what he needed to do. I don't know what his circumstances were. I'd like to hope that he knows he got it wrong with you and that he regrets that.
I really don't think you're over-reacting.
I don't know if other people will be able to answer this question unless they've already terminated. I suspect that imagining termination could be quite difficult and painful for people who are still in therapy. When I remember how I felt during therapy, I was very anxious about termination. I think it's yet another thing we want to be able to trust our therapists with. My experience was as good as it could have been. I’m so sorry that yours was so awful, and I hope that your termination with your current therapist will be much, much better.
poster:Tamar
thread:520615
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050628/msgs/520632.html