Posted by Tamar on July 8, 2005, at 19:15:07
In reply to embarrassing problem with T, posted by smokeymadison on July 8, 2005, at 13:05:13
> ok, so this is very embarrassing. i have a problem with my therapist b/c she is obese. there, i said it. i hate judging people, esp concerning weight issues b/c i am not exactly thin myself. but i am not obese.
>
> two sessions ago her shirt was all caught up in her rolls of fat, and i could hardly look at her the entire session.
>
> she is an excellent therapist, i am more stable now than i have been in years, but it is a problem. this might just be an OCD thing, i don't know. this is something i could never bring up w/ her, so what am i supposed to do exactly?I think if it didn’t bother you before but it does now, there’s probably a reason. And that reason may be worth exploring in therapy. Nice people don’t like to be judgmental, but on the other hand, it’s often worth confronting our prejudices. If for some reason you’re having problems with her weight, you do need to find a way to tell her, for your sake, so you can explore it.
Do you feel this way about other obese people? If so, did it start at the same time as your feelings about your therapist’s obesity, or have you always had a problem with obesity? Can you pinpoint exactly when you started to feel uncomfortable about her obesity, and is there anything significant about the timing?
For what it’s worth, I think it’s very common for people to have problems with obese people. I’m well over 200 pounds myself and I’m aware that my weight is a problem for some people. But I only feel obese when I’m depressed or when I notice that someone else has a problem with it. I almost never feel hurt when people say things about my weight because I’m quite good at believing it’s their problem and not mine. (But I cry like a baby when people ask me how many months pregnant I am.)
I’m sure you wouldn’t be the first person to mention it to her. You can do it tactfully.
If you tell her you have something difficult to say and you hope she won’t be offended, and you know it’s your problem really but you’re concerned about her health… you can probably get into it gradually without too much embarrassment. If she’s a good T she’ll take it stoically and help you get to the bottom of it.Tamar
poster:Tamar
thread:524953
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050706/msgs/525137.html