Posted by Susan47 on July 15, 2005, at 20:46:01
In reply to Re: Repost: loving your therapist (rabidreader) » alexandra_k, posted by Dinah on July 13, 2005, at 19:30:42
Oh, Dinah, how I enjoyed your post ... and reading it, when you mentioned the pink elephant (I believe you've said it that way before, as well..) .. I saw my ex-T's therapy room, and me sitting on the couch, him the chair, and a five-foot high pink plastic ride-'em elephant on the floor between us, complete with the black stand and the coin slot attached.
And you are so, so right. In this case though I think it was me who couldn't discuss the erotic stuff. Not at all. Couldn't even come close to admitting how much I needed his (gasp.. "love") and approval. Which totally, completely closed me down, and the therapy as well.
Sigh. But I'll say I haven't seen him for several weeks, now .. and I still call almost every day, to get the machine, and remember him, get some essence of him from the voice. But it becomes impossible, at times, to even allow myself to think about him at all, because when I do, I think I let a wonderful opportunity slip through my fingers, the chance to make a "friend" in my life, because I became so emotionally blocked and over-excited. Hyperdrive, the limbic system was in hyperdrive, and I couldn't get it out, and I didn't want to, because loving and finding a man so beautiful and beautiful to be with, was spectacular.
Sigh. Heavy, heavy unbelievably relieving and very very sad, sigh.
poster:Susan47
thread:527210
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050706/msgs/528293.html