Posted by Susan47 on July 22, 2005, at 20:07:48 [reposted on July 24, 2005, at 11:08:06 | original URL]
In reply to Re:follow up to its been. awhile, posted by Jadah on July 22, 2005, at 16:34:37
I don't know how to do it or I would, myself.
Jadah, can I be honest? Your relationship with your therapist sounds heartbreaking, and a bad thing for him and his marriage. I want to be able to respond and really talk about this, but you're never around long enough, and you don't want to really answer questions when I ask, because that's the only way I can really understand it, and I really want to, because just reading your post brought back memories of feelings I had for my therapist. And still would, if he allowed it. He's a smart man not to allow it. He refuses to have anything to do with me. Which is good. But heartbreaking, because I know he's kind, sensitive, and gentle. Exactly the type of man I can be with. But, married and not about to fool around with the likes of me.
It would be awesome to think he would want to. I can understand wanting to make love with your therapist. I can understand the entire thing about never really having each other, how that makes the relationship more heartbreaking but also more.. valued, filling it with a special aura it would not otherwise perhaps have.
I miss my therapist, but when I think that he just finds me a nuisance, my heart feels very heavy. So the acceptance it would give myself, of this man being able to make love to me, my physical body as well as my spiritual/emotional/mental self, would be supremely wonderful. Of course this therapist you're having an affair with, making love to you, would be affirming. But I can also feel your pain, the pain of never really having him, of knowing he has children with someone else, he has a life built around others ... that pain might not be worth it in the end for me, but it sounds like you're going to be fine. Having another relationship surely must help. I'm glad you have that relationship. What is that one like? You never speak of him, only your therapist....
poster:Susan47
thread:531728
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050716/msgs/532693.html