Posted by happyflower on July 24, 2005, at 16:58:54
In reply to Re: I am so angry and sad » happyflower, posted by spalding on July 24, 2005, at 13:39:30
Once again, thanks for all the support, it has really helped especailly since my DH was out of town. Now he has back, he held me while I cried my eyes out and told him what I was feelings.
Several months ago when EMDR uncovered some memories of abuse that I have surpressed for years, I had to come to terms of yes, I was abused. I never wanted to admit that because if I was abused I would some how be a damaged person. Who wants to be with a damaged person? It also helped me not go into a downward spirle and really be depressed and not do anything with my life. Keeping those feeling surpressed helped me achieve the success that I do have. But with the EMDR, it brought it all out. Now I am "safe" to deal with those memories.
Well I am not sure, but this is how it feels, I feel like I am now grieving my childhood, my young adult life where I didn't live out my potential, and the wrong choices I have made because of all of what happend in my childhood. I am very angry but also very sad. I think the fact that I have been starting to "live", it made me realize that I wasn't living before, only surviving. I really feel sad, like someone died, and I am going to their funeral. The funeral is for me, my childhood which was lost. That part of me has died. I can't change it, but I think I can maybe appreciate my life more, and really live, not just survive.
What are you thoughts about this? Is this a process or somthing that I am going through? I am glad I see my T tommorrow, I want to know what he thinks too. Thanks guys again. I need to make dinner, and my family is going to one of those free concerts in the park. Life always goes on, maybe a better life for me someday. :)
poster:happyflower
thread:532294
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050716/msgs/532875.html