Posted by Shortelise on August 10, 2005, at 18:00:58
In reply to Are you ok, Shortelise?, posted by Dinah on August 10, 2005, at 16:11:16
Honestly, no, I am not ok. Thank you for asking, Dinah.
I am so anxious. Off and on for the last week, I've had these moments of stomach dropping anxiety, and I'm not sure why. For the last two days, I have had some sort of plague - ok, maybe just a cold, but I always get bronchitis. I have coughed so much my chest aches. On Saturday we have a new student arriving, and as the last is still here, we must make a room for her upstairs here, which entails a great deal of work which I am too ill to undertake. Then on Friday evening I have agreed to cater an event for a friend, hors d'oeuvres for 50-75 people, so it's not huge but it feels overwhelming right at this moment.
I'll ask friends for help, stuff myself full of anti-cold symptom medicine, and soldier through it.
And of course, I see my T tomorrow for the first time in ...I guess it's been more than three weeks. My rational mind and my emotions are so far apart. I try to avoid the emotional place as far as he is concerned - I am afraid of it, afraid of the hurt understanding it could bring. Dinah, do you understand that? Who is it I don't trust, him or me? I just don't want to go there tomorrow and leave feeling hurt and confused again. I am really tired of that.
Thanks Dinah. My husband is working so hard these days, I feel kind of alone.
ShortE
poster:Shortelise
thread:539989
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050801/msgs/540025.html