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Re: Crying? » Racer

Posted by fairywings on September 12, 2005, at 10:20:19

In reply to Re: Crying? » muffled, posted by Racer on September 11, 2005, at 14:02:05

>
>> For me, Holding my feelings in such tight confinement is only possible if I hold all other sensations in equally tight control, thus the starvation, the hyperactivity, etc. It all goes together with a lot of other symptoms.

this makes a lot of sense racer, holding back the tears, holding back all of the feelings, not ever wanting to feel vulnerable with anyone ever. i never thought about it until i came to these boards, but this post really says it all. i experience it in body sensations and physical problems - feeling every nerve in my body through my skin, severe muscle tension, psoriasis, ibs, anxiety attacks, feeling nauseated, eating/not eating, feeling exhausted.

>
> When I cry in therapy, though, it feels so frightening! In therapy, though, it's so frightening, it feels as though all my defenses are stripped away, and all that's left is the raw core of me, and my pain. I hate it.


i haven't yet, so of course, this terrifies me. i'm sorry it feels so bad. i can visualize how it must feel, how is your T with you, what do they do? do they just sit there? omg, the panic, i'm so sorry.

>
> And it helps me.
>
> Mind you, it would help if I could cry like normal people, with the tears coming out of my eyes, rather than all running out my nose. I'm sure I'm terribly attractive with snot all over my face. A girlfriend gave me some good advice, though, for when that happens: "The only thing you can do at that point is take off your shoes and blow your nose on your socks." I have no idea what it means, but it helps.

LOL, that is so funny! Why your sock?! You have to explain that, and oh, wouldn't that make you look just a little funny? have you actually done this? hmmmm...... wonder what your T would think then. i would guess it would take thier mind off the tears, that's for sure!
The snot things is so me, and i didn't want to say anything, PLUS i have sinus problems big time, so my nose BLEEDS too, lovely huh? so on top of not wanting to cry because of the tears and the runny nose and snot, i have a freaking bloody nose! i got one last week as i was walking out the door to go to my T's.

>
> more I experience those feelings without being destroyed, the more faith I have that I can survive my feelings.
> For me, though, I know that having the right therapist is vital for getting anywhere -- and that crying is an outward sign of that. "Hello, my name is Racer, and I am a cryer..."

You're funny and have a lot of words of wisdom! gotta love that.
fw


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poster:fairywings thread:553529
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050912/msgs/554171.html