Posted by alexandra_k on September 12, 2005, at 19:21:12
In reply to Re: self-control » alexandra_k, posted by Tamar on September 12, 2005, at 18:38:49
> I also wonder whether it’s possible to decide not to talk about your feelings about the lack of treatment from the service, and focus on the reasons you want/need the service.
Oh yes, I do hope it is possible :-)
I can see that it is no good for me to go there. But it is kind of hard. Because the meeting is supposed to be to 'discuss my treatment options' or 'discuss what the service can offer me' or whatever. So... They ask me what I want and I say 'I want therapy'.And then...
They say that they have no experience with treating my dx
Then I say I don't care about that.
And then...
They might bring up that certain past clinicians have said that treatment makes me worse
And then...
I have to be really very careful to not go off about that...
Deep breaths...But: Yeah, you are right. I need to focus on what I want from this point on. Not the past. Forget about the past.
>simply being there will probably prompt all the usual emotions.
Yeah. I can feel myself starting to get tense in the waiting room.
>But maybe you could arrange to meet someone after the appointment to get things off your chest.
Yeah. I can do that.
Actually... Thats a good idea.
I can tell myself that I just have to keep it together for an hour.
If I manage that I'll let myself go off for as long as I need.
And the funny thing about stuff like that... Is that as soon as you actually can go off... You typically don't want to.> Can you use any relaxation techniques? Again, it might help a little.
Yeah. Good idea. Maybe if I start practicing that a little more now during the day... It will be easier for me to take a couple of deep breaths, refocus my attention, and remain in control in the meeting. And I could do a mindfulness exercise in the waiting room too. Something to kill the time and keep me calm.
>Remember to breathe. Don’t speak without thinking through (briefly) what you’re going to say. Count to ten if you have to. Sit on your hands. Whatever it takes.
Yeah. Ask for a minute... Think before speaking.
> I guess if past hurts didn’t go with you and f*ck up the present you probably wouldn’t need the service. Surely that’s the whole point. And maybe it’s best to focus on how you might be able to talk about that, because it might not be easy.Yeah.
Maybe... I could write something too. About this even. Give it to him at the end... I really want this to go well. And if it does go well then he can see how important it was to me. And if it doesn't go well... well then I guess he can at least see how important it was to me that it go well.
> I don’t think you’re a professional victimthanks. i've just heard that one so many times... but it hurts. yeah.
> Can you visualise actually putting it somewhere? Maybe before you leave for your appointment, put it in a drawer in your room, or in a cupboard in the kitchen or something? And then when it starts to build in your appointment, can you visualise taking it and putting it in the same place as the rest of your rage, so that you can pick it up later? It sometimes works for me. Of course, the thing about rage is that it’s explosive. And you will probably have to visualise going back and getting it out of the drawer (or whatever) later on. But if you can keep it together for the duration of the appointment you’ll probably be at your most persuasive.
okay. i'll try that too.
thanks heaps tamar.
poster:alexandra_k
thread:554076
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050912/msgs/554360.html