Posted by FlyingKangaroo on September 13, 2005, at 20:12:05
I usually run away when the going gets tough but now i just want to stay away. I dropped outta therapy because transference is too much, I cheated on my husband, went back on the coke binges, interrupted my 2 month sobriety (again) and buried myself in work and ordered some drug online (phendimetrazine) cause its sounds like a replacement for coke.I am doing some really inconsiderate things like going out on my motorcycle late at night when i know it will cause a fight with my husband. He asked me if i wanted to still be married and i said i couldnt make that decision right now ( the real answer is no). I want to leave everyone behind and just live on the road in my truck. I dont want any regard for anyone, I am being very selfish and i dont want to stop.
I went back to T today and told him that my only problem is this damn transference. I think he gets a kick out of it. But how can i stop seeing him when i think i am madly in love with him?
I know, Run away!.
It was only 2 months ago that i strated therapy and wellbutrin and now my problems are ten fold.
I dont know who I am or where I'm headed and i wish i didnt have to make a decision about that now but my husband cant put up with much more of me and frankly, neither can I.
poster:FlyingKangaroo
thread:554808
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050912/msgs/554808.html