Posted by felicity77 on September 21, 2005, at 15:10:17 [reposted on September 21, 2005, at 16:13:27 | original URL]
My apologies for posting here, but no one replied on the other board. This is about psychiatrist-patient etiquette really, I suppose. Here it is. Thanks and apologies.
Hello all,
I wasn't sure where to post this question so I'll have a go here. I need to give some background to give the question context. I am a 4th year medical student and I'm struggling with my new bipolar diagnosis. I have a great doc. We have been meeting a lot and fiddling with medications and I'm doing pretty well. However, I'm about to embark on 3 months of clinical rotations, in other states. So we won't see each other for a while. I am quite worried about this, only because I've lost quite a lot of confidence and I know the intensity medical school requires (not to mention the lack of sleep I will have to endure!) However, I love it and I'm looking forward to it as well. Anyway, today I told my doc my worst fears, and I started crying a bit. I told him that I was afraid it would be the last time we would see each other, because what if something happened and I was far away...etc etc. Anyway, I asked him if he needed to say anything to me, in case I wouldnt survive. What an idiot I was! I dont know how I thought that would be anything but disturbing to him. Anyway, my calm and quiet and very kind doctor's eyes got very red and filled with tears. It was awful. He almost started to cry.
So, now, I am at home, thinking on this, and I feel just terrible. I actually made the man cry. I think I was very insensitive in a way. I mean, I was trying to be honest and I was honest, but its awful to think I upset him that much.
Here's my question, sorry it took ten years to get to it. I wrote a two page letter that said I was sorry and that explained my current state of mind, fears about not finishing medical school, and such. I am very into writing and so I said in this letter what I couldnt express as well out loud. Is it okay to send such a thing? I dont want to appear to be obsessed or something. I just really want to apologize. I know he wouldn't want me to apologize, and in fact he told me I have nothing to apologize for, but I still want to send my letter, which also includes my heartfelt thanks for all he has done over the last year or so.
What do you think? Should I just forget about it and file the letter away with my other ramblings? I am not sure about doctor etiquette. I know I wouldn't mind if my own patients sent me letters thanking me and explaining themselves, but then again, I'm not a shrink (yet!). Thanks in advance for your replies.
poster:felicity77
thread:557708
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050920/msgs/557708.html