Posted by bent on October 3, 2005, at 14:10:33
I don’t think I can go back to my T. I feel that our foundation has crumbled after today. In the 3+ years I have been with my T I have never felt more like a number in her day. I am sorry I wasted her time. About two years ago she was the first (and only) person I had ever disclosed any information regarding my CSA experiences around age 9. She was supportive and has helped me so much since then. I have not talked to anyone else about this although my T and I have weighed the pros and cons of telling my fiancé several times. She never pressured me. Because some of the long term side effects of the abuse are causing a few problems in my relationship with my fiancé, I decided last week that tonight (10-3) I would tell him about it. I was glad that I’d have the opportuninty to meet with my T today and talk about this with her before tonight. This is where things went wrong…this is one of the biggest, hardest, most difficult topics for me in therapy and my T seems to have forgotten that. I swear she talked to me like we were talking about the weather. Its like she didn’t understand how big this was…how could she not think this is big? We’ve been debating this for years. She said nothing at the end of our session except “see how it goes, see you next week.” What?? Not even a ‘I know you can do it’ ‘You’ll be ok’ ‘Call me if you need to' or at least maybe a 'Good Luck’ if nothing else. She doesn’t hand out these supportive comments all the time but she has said all of these things before during a rough time. Today I got nothing. I felt more comfort from the wall behind me. I don’t want to see her again. I feel so hurt. Am I overreacting? I am seeking TOO MUCH reassurance/support from her? I have never felt so much like nothing to her. I cant believe how let down I feel.
poster:bent
thread:562353
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20051001/msgs/562353.html