Posted by cricket on October 27, 2005, at 13:55:51
In reply to Re: Thanks to everyone, posted by alexandra_k on October 26, 2005, at 17:46:49
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> yeah. i think thats the bit about how none of this is your fault, you internalised stuff from your environment. your troubles aren't of your own making. sounds like... miscommunication is a major problem. and that isn't anybodies fault. but it is a major problem. one that you guys really don't seem to be able to see your way around.
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Yes, that's how I feel now. The anger I felt last week is gone but I also know that we'll just keep dragging each other down going around in these circles.
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> what he says... is probably right enough. but because of the miscommunications... it hasn't really helped. i mean. and i want to say this as gently as possible... but i don't know the circumstances around your pregnancy. i think it would be understandable to have some nervousness etc. it would be understandable for a single person to contemplate abortion. and so one part saying thats what she would have done, well... thats the same thing as saying that a single person contemplated that. or had that thought occur to them. there really... isn't anything more to it than that. i do think... that that is understandable. it doesn't make you like your abusers. it doesn't mean you have a 'bad' part or 'bad' feelings. and you have your son now and you clearly love him very much. hold on to that and don't beat yourself up. really.
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Thanks Alex. I'll try not to.> i think thats probably a good thing. to make sure that you are really happy with this decision and you aren't making a hasty decision because you are upset about something that is going to blow over.
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Yes, just letting day by day go by and see how I feel. Right now just a little more peaceful, but sad.> > And I guess I do feel sorry for him. I definitely did at that point.
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> see, you aren't cold and heartless. you really are very caring. really very caring to be concerned about him.
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Thanks Alex.
> look after her. she is the little part that just needs to be loved and cared for and respected. and you are a loving, caring, and respectful person. you can care for her. really. and in a way... i think that what she most needs is your acceptance. treasure her. she is beautiful cricket. a very precious little part of you.
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> and as for the other one... i guess she might be harder to accept. because she has rage and frustration. but i guess... she just wants to be heard too. and reconceptualising stuff can help... appreciating that yes she is there and yes she has those feelings. and that that is okay. but there is more to you than that. there are other feelings too. other thoughts. and once you take them all into account... (like with the abortion thing) yeah, part of you thought about that. but what the body decided was to have the kid. and now you have him. and i'm sure you treasure him.
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> you are a good person cricket.
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Thanks Alex. Tears and hugs. I will try to come here and post whenever I forget that.
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poster:cricket
thread:572077
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20051025/msgs/572410.html