Posted by madeline on February 5, 2006, at 19:25:05
And yet, I feel like I am making progress.
The other day in therapy the most wonderful thing happened. We had a wonderful session talking about Brokeback Mountain, not being able to love or be loved, the abuse I survived - you know - just stuff.
I stood up to leave, and he stood up with me and we both just looked at each other, he said something about how hard is must be for me to talk to him and trust him, and how he appreciated it. I usually flinch from things such as that and make a joke.
But I didn't, I just stood there and thanked him for helping me. He told me that he felt very tender towards me right then and that he hoped I had a good week.
For the first time in my whole life at that moment I felt loved and understood and genuine. It was scary, it was sad and it was WONDERFUL!!!
I think my whole life has changed. I honestly did not know that I was capable of feeling this way either about or with another person.It was a breakthrough and it has changed me to the core. I love my T even more now and I know that if I can feel this way with him, I can feel it with another person.
But for now, I just want to sit in his office. Ah well, he DID increase our sessions to twice a week.
poster:madeline
thread:606692
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060131/msgs/606692.html