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Re: To Group, or not to Group...(trigger) » Emily Elizabeth

Posted by Daisym on March 3, 2006, at 23:27:13

In reply to Re: To Group, or not to Group...(trigger) » Daisym, posted by Emily Elizabeth on March 2, 2006, at 23:43:44

What you say makes sense. And my therapist asked me if I felt like I was betraying "anyone" by thinking of a group...and I said, "yes, you." So we talked about this idea of reaching beyond him and what it would be like to work with a woman. When I was making the list of questions to ask, I teased him that I needed to find out what to wear. He responded, "that's right. You'll be meeting with a female, so the shoes have to be just right." I told him it wasn't the individual meeting, it was the group meeting...4 women to assess my dress! But I can see how this would be good for me because I have so many issues with my mother, maybe it would help with them?

That said, I can't imagine any therapist, woman or man, who could be better to work with around the csa stuff. I've heard people talk about not being able to work with a man because of the trust issues. I get that. But my therapist makes me feel safe, alternating between being sad with me, him feeling protective and letting me know when he is, and pushing me gently to tell him the details. And understanding just how much support I need to get through it all. I'm sure there are other experienced therapists who could do as good a job. But I think it is their experience and approach, not their gender. (I'm not arguing with you, I hope you know. It just has come up on this board before about whether a man can really be effective in working with this "woman's issue.")

You make a very sensible suggestion about going a few times and stopping if it isn't working. My question is how do you know if it is painful and uncomfortable in a good way, vs. a bad way?

 

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