Posted by fallsfall on March 10, 2006, at 18:18:51
In reply to Re: Routine, Balance, and Camp Comfort -Falls » fallsfall, posted by annierose on March 10, 2006, at 17:17:27
He didn't offer to call, and I didn't ask. It is enough to know that he is sincere that I could call him if I want to. Not that he expects me to need to... It is quite the tightrope to walk being open to being called without giving the patient the impression that you expect them to fall apart.
It is a hard vacation for a bunch of reasons. First, I'm overwhelmed with things not following my routine - and missing therapy because he's on vacation certainly doesn't follow my routine. Second, I have been pushing myself a lot - taking a lot of risks because I know that he is there to catch me. So I'm sort of "out there" these days. And I'm in the middle of a couple of things (a group project and a conversation with a prof on the topic for my final paper) that I'd rather not attempt on my own. He is helping me a lot to understand the dynamics of what is going on and to decide how to act. So the timing for that stinks. Third, because I'm so "out there" right now, I've been stumbling frequently (every weekish), so the chances of me stumbling next week are very good - unless I change what the risk level, which is kind of hard on the fly. I'm quite afraid of what will happen if I stumble and he isn't there to catch me. It is so much easier to keep from falling down the hole than it is to climb back out of the hole. Currently he keeps me from falling down. I'm afraid if I don't see him for a week that I'll be down the hole by the time he comes back. Fourth, the last couple of weeks have been very busy, and I could use his support to get back on an even keel. Starting his vacation with me not on an even keel doesn't seem like a good way to start...
I know I'm overthinking this. And it will all probably be fine, but I'm feeling very vulnerable today. The timing of his vacation just stinks, that's all.
poster:fallsfall
thread:618330
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060225/msgs/618528.html