Posted by Susan47 on March 12, 2006, at 12:29:04
In reply to Re: Happyflower, did you see your T ? » happyflower, posted by LadyBug on March 11, 2006, at 14:31:52
I feel for you. I had the same kind of scenario last night but I was able to stick to my guns and she's only 11 .. she keeps telling me stuff like I'm ruining her life, and her friends are afraid of me, and I stick my nose in where it doesn't belong etc etc and how she'd rather be with anyone else BUT me, and how I'm a really terrible horrible mom and everything bad in her life is somehow, most definitely, MY FAULT ... I tell her I GAVE her life, that I know I'm not perfect and yes I make mistakes, but I TRY DAMN HARD, and I WANT us to have a good relationship .. she's being disrespectful, she's making me feel bad about myself and I'm supposed to be the person she looks up to so how is that going to make HER feel .. in the end .. I try to make her see the circle she's helping to create ... how it all comes back to her, HER ultimate happiness, in the end, can only be related SO MUCH to my influence .. and I try to tell her I'm always open to how she's feeling, even if I disagree .. but try and think it out ...
but I'm an addict and I know my kids have that possibility too .. and she's only 11, so I can get away with more than you probably can ... and we're all effed up in our own ways .. but our kids need to learn their own strength .. as long as you can maybe lay in bed with her .. maybe .. put your arm around hers .. but she might stiffen up, she might hit you, or kick you away, or yell at you .. which hurts so much, it really does, until they learn to trust you. I don't know if that's right or wrong, but I'm pretty sure I'm not always trusted to love her enough .. I don't know.
poster:Susan47
thread:617067
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060312/msgs/619358.html