Posted by muffled on May 4, 2006, at 10:17:04
In reply to Re: I'm scared, whats going to happen? » muffled, posted by milly on May 4, 2006, at 4:29:29
> Oh muffled I *know* you're right but I just don't seem to be able to think straight.
***well, the fact that you know you can't think straight is a good thing. You have some grip on reality.
> I keep thinking if I did my *worst* nothing would happen to me, everyone would understand why and in fact I'd be hailed as a hero. Then reality kicks in and i think that it would end badly but maybe *I'm* the price that has to be paid.
***Like B2chica said, if you hurt him back, he wins cuz then YOU and your family get hurt more. Screw him and let the world get its revenge on him. It will in the end.
You would not be a hero for getting him. You are FAR more valuable than him. You have already paid. Now it is time for you to heal and be able once again to feel peace and joy, and to share of your beautiful self to others. And no doubt as a result of all this pain you will grow and learn SO much and be able to help others too. Cuz you truly understand.> I think I can hear pdoc because he says he wants to protect me and that what he has to do isn't to protect sh*tface (not pdocs word!)but to keep me safe.
***I'm quite sure thats the case myself.
> i cried that you care about me (when you put 'our Milly' I could feel it), I feel so bad and confused and evil I don't think you should care.
***Those words could have come from my own mouth. Why do we do this to ourselves I don't know. But I have read so many of your posts and you seem to be a very sweet soul. You ARE our Milly. You are a part of our community here, you matter and are valuable to us, this is true.
> Its my birthday and I'm sat here waiting for my pdoc to ring to tell me the outcome of the team meeting.
***Not such a Happy birthday I suppose, but I absolutely hate birthdays anyways and never celebrate mine.
> I am quite scared 1. because I feel I don't know me anymore and I don't trust me and 2. because I don't know what they are going to do.
***Well, I think that the fact that your scared is once again a good sign. You don't know the old you anymore. You are growing and changing in many good ways.
Yeah, I know the don't trust me thing. Its very hard....but for me...I dunno...mebbbe theres just something basic inside me that always holds me back....I dunno. But so far so good.
I don't think anything terribly irreprable will happen as long as you leave that guy alone. This will eventually pass. Hard to imagine. But you will get thru this. You will.
Once again,
Take care of yourself,
You are our special Milly,
It'll be ok somehow,
We are here for you,
(((((((((Milly))))))))
>
poster:muffled
thread:639651
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060422/msgs/639911.html