Posted by vwoolf on August 8, 2006, at 10:04:11
Hi all, I began to write about this somewhere else and it made me realise I really am bothered by something that happened the other day, so I'm starting a separate post to deal with it.
I was at a party the other day and overheard two people talking about my t who is going through a divorce at the moment. They described her as grasping, mean and unfair. As soon as I realised where the conversation was going, I left the room in a total panic and found myself full of fury for the two gossips.
I spoke to her about it on the Monday. I told her it had bothered me only a bit. She asked me if there was anything I wanted her to disclose. I said no, I didn't want to know about her financial settlements. And in fact I don't. I then wrote her a poem:
She struggles but
Towards me has integrity.
I have never known anything like it.Thoughtful. Considerate. Kind
It is hurtful to hear
Others don’t find her so.I know that between us
There is an honesty
Of a kind they do not know.I know so little about her
Yet infinitely more
I would sense anything less than honest.So why does their opinion rankle?
Do I doubt my truth?But it is still worrying me. I don't feel as if I can trust her any more. It coincided unfortunately with her broaching the subject of an increase in her fees. She has held them firm for three years, even though I have repeatedly told her she should increase them. She now says she will soon have to put them up to a more realistic level. Which is perfectly reasonable and honest. When I am with her it is fine, but outside therapy I keep seeing her face curl into a mean, rather cynical grin.
I feel very confused about it all. I desperately want to trust her. She says that I will have to learn that she is just an ordinary person who makes mistakes and is not always perfect. But I find myself falling into either/or type thinking, and it really upsets me.
poster:vwoolf
thread:674779
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060808/msgs/674779.html