Posted by daisym on August 18, 2006, at 14:00:16
In reply to stupid, pissy and overwhelmed (trigger), posted by pegasus on August 17, 2006, at 22:30:50
Any post that contains 6 "stupids" and 3 "dumbs" tells me that you are being super harsh with yourself. My guess is that you are being much harsher than you need to be.
Stress and change make us do "dumb" (read = human) things, like forgetting stuff. There is a paralyzing effect of stress, not in the physical sense, but in the part of the brain that organizes, makes (good) decisions and feels in control of our environment and life. When that part doesn't work, it feels like EVERYTHING is crumbling around us.
So -- stress reduction is definately in order. Are there two or three little things that you can let go of or let someone else do, to give you more brain space and time for the things that are left? And I think you might want to tell your husband, "I'm overwhelmed so you need to back me up and not expect my usual attention to details. I need your help right now, however annoying the things I do or don't do might be."
As far as your daughter goes, I think it is good that you are aware that she will be watching you. And this should be as good an incentive as any to reduce the amount of SI you resort to, particular when you are caring for her. Can you think of a more "acceptable" substitute that will help you cope when things get that bad again? There are less extreme things - fingernail biting, chewing, pressure points or tapping that might work. I like Dinah's idea of big deep breaths too.
Mostly I want to say that I'm sorry things feel so out of control. These changes weren't necessary at work and now you have to deal with it over and over again. Perhaps increase your sessions for a little while? And, is it time to start looking for another job? Sometimes focusing on the search can help you care less about the daily angst on the job.
I'm glad you keep reaching out.
Hugs,
Daisy
poster:daisym
thread:677617
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060808/msgs/677797.html