Posted by Franz on September 8, 2006, at 11:59:34
In reply to From a personal perspective » Franz, posted by susan47 on September 7, 2006, at 1:32:10
> Probably no one will answer to this. Everyone hates Susan47.
Why do you think that?. I liked your response.
> In the past, I've found that my inability to make decisions correlates quite closely to my inability to deal with change.Yes, I think you are right and I can relate. Decisions mean changes and loses.
> Sometimes, I can make all kinds of wonderful decisions. But my fear of failing stops me from even trying to realize the potential of bringing those decisions to any type of reality. How awful to see that in print...
Another good point, fear of failing and then procrastination...
> >
> > I suffer when I have to make decision that involve emotional components and change of relations (change work, quit a relationship).
>
> I've never been able to quit any relationship very easily when it came to the opposite sex. I idealize a lot.
Idealization, right, another issue involved.>.. twenty years passes by in the blink of a bloody eye ... My God.
There is that saying: life is what passes whern you are trying to know what life is about, or something like that.
> How depressing, how sad, how unable to live and appreciate this moment because, you know what? I'm alone, and I hate being alone. But I hate being with people, the wrong people, as well, as much as I hate being alone. So .. I don't know. Sometimes it feels like there is no hope. No Hope.
We must build hope, but some people have it hard to feel faith.
> > Maybe it is an attachment problem?. Or lack of expected pleasure in the new possibilities (due to a depressive state)?.
>
> Well, what does it really matter why?
hehe, maybe yes for someone with some obsessive characteristics. Sometimes I think I want thinks to have perfect structure, like one can see there is a perfect form and the decision reaults evident. Sorry, I don´t know how to explain.>How is knowing that going to change anything. It's knowing how to change yourself, live in each moment to the fullest without fear. How the hell do you do that? Near-death experience, maybe? Have you had one of those?
No, except for aging which shows death comes closer.
I agree that knowing is not enough and that is why some psychotherapies do not work sometimes.
> >
> > Anyone have suggestions?. What kind of therapy?. Psychoanalysis seems not to work, it delays things more. Medication?
>
> Psychoanalysts can be helpful or a hindrance.. have you tried more than one?Sure.
> You say psychoanalysis.. delays things more. I agree that it can definitely be a long drawn-out process, and from what I understand it can fluctuate in how you'll deal with life from week to week, or from one appointment to another .. because of the issues that get brought up and needing to be resolved, and the stages of resolution you need to go through can really all look quite different .. I think. I think. I don't know.An while you think in all those issues you are distracted from day to dfay real life actions. In certain persons I mean and in certain circumstances.
> In my experience medication only works as long as you take it,Like most things: food, a bath, sex, psychotherapy. That´s not a problem.
> and I've never been successful in that department. If it had the same effect on me that marihuana has, well then, I wouldn't have any trouble taking medication.Are those medicinal preparations of the herb available to you?.
>But the side effects of every med I've ever tried have, in the end, negated the benefits and I've gone off. As my doctor says, I'm "non-compliant". Was there ever a more distasteful, disrespectful way to talk to a patient? *sigh* Ah, well. Somehow, urinary incontinence is supposed to be okay as long as my mood is high, regardless of my true internal temperature. I've gone past the idea that it's a chemical imbalance, for me. At least, for now. I've yet to try to latest class of medications, the latest and greatest of the AD's .. and I don't know if I really want to hide in good moods, anymore. I need to be genuine and.. I suspect this sounds like a justification any non-compliant patient might make .. but I need to feel my moods to get a handle on who the hell I really am.That is for psychoterapy, a philosophy master or maybe ART, have you tried art?. It seems you could write, but I would seach for something non verbal, using another parts of the mind.
Or maybe just another decision, wake up some day and decide you will be such and such. Permanent personality is a myth maybe.
>Whether that hurts or not can't matter, anymore. I have a lot of growing I want to do. I really want to. I have to learn to make decisions, to Deal, Baby.
> >
> > Thanks
> >
> You're welcome, whether I was understood or judged or not. You sound like someone who's trying to come to understanding.Thank you and all who replied, more interesting than I expected.
poster:Franz
thread:681757
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060826/msgs/684243.html