Posted by alexandra_k on September 17, 2006, at 10:10:25
In reply to Re: I told my husband **child abuse trigger** » alexandra_k, posted by llrrrpp on September 17, 2006, at 8:46:55
> I feel this way because I am HUMAN...
Yeah. I think so. I have this philosophy... It isn't really an 'academic' philosophy position (though I like to think it is informed by and consistent with it) it is more a philosophy of life type thing...
I don't think there is an answer to the question 'when I stab your body with a pin why do YOU feel pain and not ME?'
aka
'why did my conscious experience get to be associated with my body'? (and not somebody elses body).
It can be hard to explain the problem sometimes... I guess if you haven't wondered it yourself it can be hard to get into the spirit of it. But the problem just occurs to some people.Anyway... I think that my conscious experience JUST IS the product of my brain processes (genes and maturation) and my environment (both natural and social). And given those things... My conscious thoughts, feelings etc are what they are. As such... In a way it doesn't make sense even to ask whether they are justified. They just are.
And if I had been associated with your body I'd be along for your ride, thinking your thoughts and feeling your feelings etc...
And if you had been associated with my body you would be along for mine...
And if your husband had been associated with your body he would be along for your ride...And so forth.
I don't know. Don't know if it makes sense... It helps me sometimes. To think of it that way. To kind of step back from myself and see myself a little more objectively. When I feel unacceptable. Because... I don't think anyone else is unacceptable. So... I guess I just am same as everyone else. Don't know if this makes sense...
> > There is the 'tell your secrets of the past' (which are what makes present difficulty understandable) 'and then you will be cured' model.
> > Yeah. It can be a significant change...Yeah. And the jury is still out on that model...
(There are alternative models)I think depression usually is a shutting down of feelings. Maybe because we think those feelings are unacceptable.
> > Do you feel like you have to be a happy bubbly person in order to earn love / acceptance?
> of course I do.Do you think love / acceptance is something that has to be earned?
That if you aren't happy and bubbly... Then you aren't worthy of love / acceptance?
> It works well in casual friendships and for my relationships at work. It's a good skill to have.
Yes. It is indeed a terrific skill to have. Sometimes what we need to do is to put on that happy face. Especially with casual friendships and working relationships.
But there can be a balance...
And sometimes putting on a happy face and not addressing those feelings (not acknowledging them, stuffing them, avoiding them) can lead to... Depression.
But there can be a balance...
> I have this crippling anxiety and insecurity that I've never been able to shake, even in situations where I have nothing to fear-- I can tell myself this OVER and OVER, but I still can't extinguish it. Fear conditioning is very powerful
Yeah.
Sometimes... Accepting the feeling for what it is (a feeling that is understandable) can help it lessen in intensity. But that being said... Easier said than done methinks...> > Sometimes the path splits and one can't go back.
> > I'm so sorry.
> I'm not sorry Alex. I didn't like my path.Yeah. I guess I was thinking about frameworks...
> I WANT to have a choice.
You have choices. I think you will have many choices...
> I will have to remind myself that turning around 180 degrees and LOOKING at the past doesn't mean that I'm headed in that direction. When I get to the fork in the road, I want to be able to look behind me and figure out which branch takes me furthest away, fastest.
Sometimes I think it is about...
Finding the middle path between escape and indulgence...
(In both cases it bites you on the *ss)
(This is mostly to me. I should say that).
Sorry...
I don't know what else to say...
poster:alexandra_k
thread:686272
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060911/msgs/686765.html