Posted by Daisym on November 15, 2006, at 19:43:27
In reply to Re: Eeek no. I just can't think about it. » Daisym, posted by 10derHeart on November 15, 2006, at 16:02:27
But Tender - why would you think that the death of your mother wouldn't shake your foundation and "make" you feel like a toddler would? The descriptions of what happens during rapprochement may "just" happen to match how you feel so perfectly that your grief is called out at a primal level. So it feels young. I have to imagine that losing a mother that did everything right and that you were strongly attached to would create this kind of resounding whack! to your psyche. And especially at a known vulnerable time. Nineteen is another "toddler" passage. Think about how many kids try to leave home and don't make it, for one reason or another. Biologically and developmentally the risk benefit is the same as it is for a toddler, just on a larger scale. You are leaving the safe base of chilhood and moving out on your own as an adult. You might not physically move out, but you are typically, at this age, making decisions about who you are and what you believe in the world. You might be sexually active too, a whole other "private" world from the safety of mom and dad.
I would argue that your loss at this critical time, and your resulting insecure attachment pattern (if I can call it that) is completely understandable. It is hard to long for something you never had, but it must be even harder to long for safety that was once known.
(((10derHeart)))
poster:Daisym
thread:702376
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20061109/msgs/704062.html