Posted by sunnydays on December 30, 2006, at 10:54:34
In reply to Re: 2 Therapists At Same Time, posted by Lonely on December 29, 2006, at 23:43:32
> This sounds like a recipe for more pain and anguish. I'm seeing a therapist in part to recover from the first one. Also, it's due to a complex family situation that involves several serious physical diseases as well as serious mental illness.
**** I'm sorry you're having such problems.
> T's do use their patients and mine (first) admitted that I would hate her some day when I realized what she did to me. I was deeply attached to her and hurt at the same time. The end result was a loss of self confidence surrounded by confusion and way too much focus on therapy and not enough with getting on getting on with my life. Frankly, a professional friend had (a few years earlier) done far more for me in terms of "raising me up" to new heights I did not know were possible. The T did the opposite.
**** I'm sorry that happened to you. It definitely does not sound right.
>
> Therapy is a contrived situation at best.**** I disagree with this. I think it is contrived at worst. At best, one can feel deeply connected to one's therapist and have them feel deeply connected to you and this can be a healing relationship. Granted, it has stricter boundaries than most, but I think it still has the potential to be very real and very healing.
>
> My first T had serious issues herself (I think all T's do) and in order to control me constantly harped at me about childhood experiences (eventually that has to be left behind) and often wouldn't let me even finish a sentence or a thought. She missed appts - was snide - the current one is too sometimes.**** That doesn't sound like she was a good therapist. Missing appointments isn't good. As for snide - have you checked out her intent with your current therapist? Sometimes I think mine is being sarcastic, but that's not how he meant it at all, and asking about it has been incredibly healing for me. He apologizes when he says something that doesn't come out right, but I have to ask, or he doesn't know how I interpreted it and he thinks it came out the way he meant it.
>
> I was going through a personal family situation that was overwhelming and her emotional abuse was not helpful. I don't believe this bull about "working through" something with a T - I find they either want to control for their own satisfaction or they have no interest.**** I'm sorry that has been your experience. It has not been mine. I'm still a little bit in the middle, but I can definitely see progress I have made since where I started, and I think I am in the process of working through. I have been helped immensely by therapy, and my life has been tremendously improved because of decisions I have made because of being in therapy. My T never tries to control me. He takes painstaking care not to, and sometimes that's frustrating for me because I just want him to tell me what to do. But I think a good T will let you come to important realizations yourself, rather than forcing them on you. They may have techniques to accelerate the process, but ultimately I think it can be so so helpful.
That's the big reason why I saw two T's at the same time. I hardly knew which way was up emotionally. I guess this is a little bit of a muddled trigger for me (strictly me - not the responsibility of anyone else on this thread) and I'm reacting accordingly but right now I would say "lose her" because it doesn't sound like your best interests are truly reflected. Nonetheless, you'll have to find your own way and fulfill your own needs.
**** I hope you are able to find help that works for you. It doesn't sound like you have found that yet.sunnydays
poster:sunnydays
thread:715149
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20061210/msgs/717547.html