Posted by muffled on January 22, 2007, at 10:00:23
In reply to I HATE LIFE!!! Trigger, posted by LadyBug on January 22, 2007, at 0:31:00
> I hate life, I really do. I don't want to go to therapy this week. I know she's trying to help me by pushing me and finding ways to make me stronger. My T is surely frustrated with me. Why am I so depressed, have so much anxiety and why can't I just pack my things,move out and get on with my life??????? She makes it all sound so simple!!!
**well, I dunno, but from a similiar situ., I wonder if your T is not so much <pushing> you, as trying to help you get what needs to be done, done. Oh yea, I know hard that is sometimes.To be so immobilized.
Its not so easy to be the one that <advocates/pushes>, so I'm guessing that your T really does care for you. Your depressed and anxious cuz you at a VERY hard time in your life. Hard in SO many ways.
Well, it just may be that some of what you need to get done is seemingly simple when all is well, but when your head is all mucked up, heck, I find it a major breakthru just to wash the dishes! (don't ask me bout my toilet bowls!)
So my guess is she's just trying to help you get thru thid time. To 'just do it' and get a thing done.....
Guess its doubly hard to do stuff to when there is no tangible rewards either.....cept getting you and kids lives in order...and then things calming down again eventually.
>And why can't I stop crying? I've been with my spouse for 25 years, just give it up and go on! Why is it so hard?*ummmm, mebbe cuz its been 25 years???
Money? Ya, that's the biggest issue for me!!! My job isn't enough to support myself. I did find 4 places to move to this weekend, but I didn't have the guts to call any of them!!!! I don't want to go see her this week, she will get tired of my broken hearted same old story sh**.
*Ya, funny how that is. I have a friend with a child, fortunately she is to get remarried soon and will be financially well off. But she is SO paranoid bout money, and for GOOD reason, she had some hard years :(
Let your T try and help. Tell her how your feeling. See if you guys can work on a strategy for you to get more help and support from others thru this time.....to help for example , to look at places.> I'd like to have things go well for me for a change. Therapy is only making me open up the hurt for an hour, then leave hurting more than I can bare by myself. Story of my life.
*there will be good things. Sometimes it might be as simple as an unexpected smile from a sranger, or a hug from your kid.
> Sorry I'm so down and negative, It seems to be getting worse. I don't want to up my meds. I've been at a level place for several years and don't want to get tangled up with adding this or upping that crap.
*I can't tell you bout meds. Just I know you in a hard place at this time, so its completely understandable that you feel the way you do.
> I hate life and if I didn't have kids I'd.... who knows? But I love them too much to do anything to them. Life is unbearable for me.*for now, life is unbearable. But it is not forever..
> Don't feel sorry for me, there's nothing anyone can do.*I reckon we on babble can commiserate w/you, make you feel not so odd, mebbe have some suggestions.
And IRL, take all and any help you can get. My sister, who is not a churchgoer, had a local church volunteer to help her move, what a gift that was at the time. Go figger.>MyT will hate me for telling her how depressed I've become since I saw her last Wed. It's getting worse everyday. I even have my phone on silent so I don't have to talk to anyone. My family is all wondering what's wrong with me. They can't help me either. No one can but ME!!!
*Your T will NOT hate you.
She knows this is SUCH a hard thing all round.
And others CAN help you. In simple little ways. A phone call, packing, a walk together,looking at places, etc
Let them.
Take care,
Muffled
poster:muffled
thread:725055
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070119/msgs/725127.html