Posted by ElaineM on February 9, 2007, at 21:10:33
"The Couch"
You hadn't seen your father in such a long time.
He died in the arms of his lover - how dare he.
Your mother never left the house.
She never married anyone else.
You took it upon yourself to console her.You reminded her so much of your father,
So you were banished.
And you wonder why you're so hypersensitive?
And why you can't trust anyone but us?
But then, how can I begin to forgive her?
So many years under bridges with dirty water.
She was foolish, and selfish, and cowardly if you ask me.I don't know where to begin, in all of my 50 odd years I have been,
Silently suffering and adapting. Perpetuating and enduring.
Who are you younger generation to tell me that I have unresolved problems!
Not many examples of fruits of this type of excruciating labour.How can you just throw words around like grieve, and heal, and mourn.
I feel, Fine we may not have been born as awake as you were.
It was much harder in those days.
We had paper routes uphill both ways.
We went from school, to a job, to a wife, to instant parenthood.I walked into his office, I felt so self-conscious on the couch.
He was sitting down across from me.
He was writing down his hypothesis?....I don't know!
I've got a loving, supportive wife, who doesn't know how involved she should get.
You say, his interjecting was him just calling me on my sh*t?Just the other day, my sweet daughter, I was driving past #203.
I walked up the stairs (in my mind's eye).
I remember how they would creak loudly...
She was only responsive with a drink...
He was only responsive by photo...
I was only trying to be the best big brother I could.I've walked sometimes confused,
Sometimes ready to crack open wide.
Sometimes indignant. Sometimes raw.
Can you imagine I pay him 75 dollars an hour?!
Sometimes it feels like highway robbery,
And sometimes it's peanuts -- I wish it could last a couple more hours.So here we both are battling similar demons (not coincidentally).
You see, in getting beyond knowing it solely intellectually,
You're not relinquishing your majestry.
You are wise. You are warm.
You are courageous. You are big.
And I love you more now than I ever have in my whole life.-Alanis Morissette
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I just came across this song a little while ago on the internet. I haven't heard many songs deal with therapy before. I love it. Makes me cry everytime I play it. Such a touching dialogue going on there. [you've gotta hear it though] I love all this woman's stuff - feels like it's all from "knowing". When I get a sense of "knowing" from someone it really touches me.
I always cry on my own cause of the last paragraph (especially last sentence) -- I wonder what it would be like if *my* Dad was this Father. So brave and learning to be emotional, and wanting to change, ready to acknowledge, and willing to see therapy as something other that bullcr@p. And I've always wondered my whole life what it would feel like to have a Father I love enough to offer that last paragraph in the song to. I mean, I still love my parents. But it's not as pure and deep-seeded as this kind. I've never known anyone, myself, who's parent was also seeing a personal therapist -- like, two adult generations. Mine could never understand, and it really contributed to them pulling away from me.
:") & :"(
So intense for me - [In a weepy mood today]Really only wanted to share this - incase someone else can feel it too.
blove EL
poster:ElaineM
thread:731511
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070203/msgs/731511.html