Posted by sunnydays on March 6, 2007, at 21:34:34
In reply to Re: update, posted by Daisym on February 27, 2007, at 10:09:45
Hi all,
In case anyone cares, last session, I told him. We had been talking about something else, and then there was a while where I was just thinking and I think he was just thinking, and then I just looked out the window for a moment and said, "I think I love you."
His first response was just to say, "Wow" in this really warm, kind of surprised voice. And then after a few more moments he said, in just the warmest voice, that he was really proud of me for saying that. That it said a lot about me to be able to say that, and how far I had come. That it was a little about him, but mostly about me and that he was really proud of me for having worked so hard to get to the point where I felt safe enough to say that to him. Then he asked how it felt to say that to someone and really mean it, and we talked for a while.
The conversation went off on a little bit of a tangent, although still related, and at a moment that made sense he said, "I have loving feelings for you too, sunnydays. They're not sexual at all, more protective or fatherly or brotherly. But that's not because I don't think you're pretty or anything, I think all that too, but I feel like I have to explain this a little. I wasn't going to tell you until a just a few moments ago, because I didn't want it to mess up anything between us, or for anything weird to happen. But then I decided that wasn't how we had been with each other up until now and it really wasn't fair for me to withhold that." And then there was a few moments of silence, and he asked how it felt to hear him say that, and I said I kind of already knew it, so it didn't surprise me. And he wanted to know if it was better to hear it, and it definitely was.
And then we were talking about something else, and he said he's always believed that someone you have loving feelings for becomes a part of your soul or spirit and helps make you better. And that I've made him better, and he thanked me!
And you know, I think he handled it better than I ever would have imagined. It felt totally comfortable, and I feel like I could tell him just about anything now. And it's not inappropriate at all - he's extroardinarily ethical.
But it was so nice.
sunnydays
poster:sunnydays
thread:736247
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070215/msgs/738857.html