Posted by OzLand on July 26, 2007, at 0:35:58
I just could not post when I got home from work; and even now I am still confused. The situation with my job is a problem again and is stressing me out. I need things resolved. I had therapy on Wednesday. I realize it is now 12:25 a.m. so it is officially now Thursday.
Therapy was not good in that I just could not see what my T was driving at with the damn link between the past and present other than part of what occured with my mother as a child. Otherwise I did not see the link between my job situation right now and the csa. Damn him, he was going to make another link, and I yelled at him not to say it. I feel like an idiot now. Then I started to hyperventilate and burst into tears. I just hate that. I thought he did not believe me about an accident I had last month, and he said he did believe me. I thought he had a look on his face like he did not believe me, and so he is saying to me to look at him and listen and repeated it three times and said I "must" take it into my heart now. I do, and then he tells me there are links, and then I said I don't want to know now. I can't handle it.
He said it is true he sometimes uses powerful words to make a point, and he acknowledged that using the term "insert" himself in me was deliberate. I said I knew it was and what happened to me that I thought I was going to have to vomit in the bathroom afterwards. He said nothing. It was toward the end of the session, and I know it will come up on Friday. I just wish the work thing was resolved, as it is difficult enough dealing with the csa in therapy and to have the other sh*t hanging over my head.
I also got some info on my ECT in March and learned that there were some differences in what was done with me with the last ECT I did before I quit and with the other doctor. My ECT doc said he could only speculate that this is why I had so much more confusion and disorientation and memory stuff happen. By the way, the memory, at least short term memory is getting better I think. I will know better when I try to read a book which I want to do after the work crap is resolved. Just too much stress right now,
OzLand
poster:OzLand
thread:772033
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070714/msgs/772033.html