Posted by jammerlich on July 26, 2007, at 18:37:49
Well, not really double therapy. Therapy once and pdoc (first ever) once. Very strange, indeed.
T was nice. Asked lots of questions today because I couldn't come up with a topic. I told her I appreciated it and that it helped. She said she was glad I could let her know it was helpful. :-) She made lots of suggestions about what I should be sure and tell the pdoc and let me know it was important to let him know as much as I could. Ok, got it. She said she wanted me to call after I got back home and let her know what we'd decided.
As for Mr. Pdoc... I'm cautiously optimistic. His office was SO clinical and sterile; but, no overhead lighting, just natural light through the window (loved that). He told me where to sit (didn't love that). But, he had tissues and a wastebasket right near that chair (liked that...my T should learn about wastebasket availability). I did not like talking to him. He's a mumbler AND has a tendency to put is hand in front of his mouth...not the best combination. I did NOT like some of his questions, but I realize there was probably a good reason for most of them. What I don't understand is why he asked me if I had homosexual tendencies, too. I'm not sure there was a good reason for that one. Plus, it's been one of my fears....that people might think I'm a lesbian because I found myself married to a gay man. This was the first time I actually felt someone thought it, though. Not good.
I'm not sure how I did on the honesty part. I answered questions truthfully, but I think he was probably looking for more than what he specifically asked. He asked if I had a suicide plan. If I'd answered that question as originally asked, I might not have left there with a prescription. But, thankfully, before I answered, he revised it a little and inquired as to whether or not I had plans to OD. Whew!! No, I do not have a suicide plan that involves medication. I can be honest!! He asked me if I cut (that just makes me feel he's angling for a borderline diagnosis). I do SI on rare occasions, but I don't cut, so I felt able to answer honestly there, too.
Where I really liked the man was when it came to med talk. We only talked sleep, but he was more than happy to give me a list of AD's he would suggest so I could start reading up on them, just in case. When I explained some of the reasons I'm med adverse, he validated that those points were all true. He said very clearly that he knows there are lots of articles out there and he's very open to suggestions. He doesn't think it has to be his way; but, he did admit that he CAN sometimes be that way. He'd already written out my script for trazodone (and I can take anywhere from 50-400mg, depending on what I think works...YAY, I have some control!!) and I got a little brave and told him how I'd read that some people who struggle with nightmares take a beta blocker as part of their sleep meds to help with the adrenaline rush. He said that he hadn't heard that before but that it made a lot of sense and wrote me a prescription for that, too!! I was impressed.
He was emphatic that I keep seeing T....did not tell him about the iffiness and the big talk next week. I'm loving her this week and that has me really scared about the big talk. There is much to lose.
poster:jammerlich
thread:772189
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070726/msgs/772189.html