Posted by twinleaf on July 27, 2007, at 1:25:44
The new analyst I am going to now is so different from the old one, even though they are about the same age, and have spent their whole professional lives together, first training together and then as training analysts at the same Institute. They even cover for one another when one goes on vacation! The new one was very thoughtful in calling me about that, as he knew I wouldn't want to talk to the old one under any circumstances, after such a traumatic, horrible trmination.
The new one thinks that "implicit relational knowing", the phrase coined by the Boston Process Study Change Group, is probably the most important aspect of change and growth in therapy. He seems to think that we don't overcome early trauma by talking about it, but experience safe, new experiences with our therapists which gradually give us a sense of empowerment and well-being in the present, and allow us to leave the past behind us- to an extent. And this is all done non-verbally: later, we recognize it, and can talk about it- but, by then, the essential new, good experience has already taken place, many times over- in our unconscious, non-verbal right hemispheres. With the other analyst, I understood that I had to say EVERYTHING that I felt and thought; with this one, I am just invited to tell him anything I would like to. I have actually been encouraged to just be with him quietly- no words required. He is wonderful at being both very calm and very attentive- whether we are speaking or not. This is such a new experience for me ( a big talker!), but in five months of going twice a week, it has helped me so much more than four years of going five days a week to the other analyst. There must be just so much that we don't know about why therapy works or doesn't, and it's probably different for every patient-therapist pair. Lots of people have been talking here recently about how vital it is to feel connected. The implicit relational knowing can include that, but it also seems to involve mutual emotional self-regulation and soothing, I think- just both people working towards a state of well-being together in the face of very traumatic and painful memories on the patient's part, which undoubtedly activate somewhat similiar feelings on the analyst's part.
This is very new for me, and I am so happy about how helpful it's turning out to be. I'd love to know if anyone else is experiencing anything similiar to this.
twinleaf (Pfinstegg)
poster:twinleaf
thread:772286
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070726/msgs/772286.html