Posted by sunnydays on August 8, 2007, at 19:26:38
In reply to ...when to move on...Observation, posted by JoniS on August 8, 2007, at 19:02:18
I am not trying to minimize this at all. I have been absolutely devastated by comments my T has made and I absolutely believe they are held to a high standard and should be. But I also don't see how this proves he was being "intentionally mean and insensitive". Without allowing him to give his point of view, or even have a chance at apologizing or trying to right what he did wrong, I don't see how his intentions can really be determined at all. What he did is inexcusable. But... if he doesn't have a chance to apologize and make it right, how can we say it would be catastrophic. I went out on a limb and shared a time when my T made me think of quitting - and the apology he gave made our relationship stronger. I would see quitting as fine if he never apologized. I just wonder about not giving him the opportunity.
I seem to have offended some people, since I'm pretty sure I'm one of the posters that it was implied that I am minimizing this. I am NOT. I just feel that without giving the T an opportunity to apologize, nothing at all will ever be resolved of this hurt. It can't be known either way whether the hurt was intentional or not. And it seems like it would be easier to move on if it was known one way or the other. But I could be wrong.
I just don't see why sd's T shouldn't get one second chance. Not a third or fourth chance, just a second one. IMO, except in a very very few circumstances, everyone in this world should get a second chance. It's a controversial stance, and a lot of people don't agree with me. But I very strongly believe that everyone should get a second chance. One chance to make things right.
But it seems that my views may not be appreciated here, so I'll try to hold off posting as much as I can. I haven't been doing so well emotionally myself, and Babble seems to just be upsetting me more. I don't want to change people's minds, but I don't like it when my views are not correctly understood.
I'm sorry everyone. I'll go back to my cave and hide for a while. Maybe I'll be back when my T gets back, I'll have to think about it. I'm trying to learn to take care of myself, and maybe Babble can't be a part of that.
sunnydays
poster:sunnydays
thread:774336
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070807/msgs/774905.html