Posted by antigua3 on August 13, 2007, at 9:12:17
In reply to I am NOT a Liar afterall!!, posted by B2chica on August 10, 2007, at 11:37:14
I was having trouble posting so I couldn't reply earlier.
You've described my situation perfectly. I have snippets, sound memories and a whole lot of in between memories that don't fit together. My T says that's OK, because we always learn something from just a fragment. And it doesn't matter if we join the memories together wrongly; the important thing is the parts.
I'll give you an example. Last week I had a--what would you call it?-- vision, I guess, of being chased down, held down and touched by a group of boys. It didn't come to me clearly; I just remember running through the trees trying to get away.
Now my T picked up on that I fought as hard as I could against these people. I've always had a memory, feeling, a body feeling actually of fighting back and it was reinforced when I was in the hospital, out of my mind really, and the doctor kept telling my husband how hard I was fighting them. I've had flashbacks only about the fighting back. The thing is, this isn't about my father; I never, ever would have tried to fight him.
But the memory about being chased down doesn't feel right, but the fighting back does. So I have something to learn, but I don't know what it is.
Incidentally, my pdoc didn't believe a word of it. He asked "what were the repercussions?" I just went "huh?" But since I've seen him, I remember that I've always remembered an unusual incident that happened when I was child. One day when my mother wasn't home, my brothers decided to give my a bath in the middle of the day. More than highly unusual. They made the water so hot that when she got home my mother was really mad at them (because they had given me a fever and almost burned me), but what I remember most is that she gave me a coke to bring my temperature down. And we never had coke when I was a kid.
So, see, things fit together and then again they don't. Like I said, I don't believe the vision of being hunted down, but I do know the fighting back, bath and coke are true incidents. Do they go together? I don't have a clue. The rest will come or it won't, so try not to worry. I always think it has to be "true" or I'm lying, and I think I lie a lot, otherwise known as denial.
sorry to go on, but I'm glad you feel better knowing that memories can get mishmashed, but that doesn't make them untrue.
best,
antigua
poster:antigua3
thread:775259
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070807/msgs/775957.html