Posted by Happyflower 1 :-) on August 24, 2007, at 13:03:48
In reply to Happy Flower .... :-), posted by LadyBug on August 24, 2007, at 9:37:54
It went well, I was nervous, couldn't sleep much last night, so I slept in this morning. Had to go to the gym to get a shower since our water heater deceided not to work today. Which is okay becauase the gym is nearby his office.
When I got up, I felt sort of out of it, probably due to Xanax, do you get sort of a hangover from it when you only take it once in a while.
Well anyways, I got ready, put on my makeup and got dressed after my shower, it was funny people at the gym never seen me "cleaned up" before.
Okay, I know I am rambling and you want to hear the good stuff, right? LOL
Well I walked in and he smiled at me and I felt relieved, I was smiling too, so I think he was relieved. He told me welcome back. He asked how I was and If I liked my new therapist. He asked me if there was something I wanted to say first, before he he said stuff he wanted to say. I was really calm, I think that EMDR stuff really did help me with today. I told him I wanted to clear the air with him because I didn't feel good the way it ended on the phone. That I didn't want the last phone calls where I was very emotional to be the last memories of me. He told me he doesn't have any hard feelings about me now or before. Then I said well ya, because you don't really care anyways,right. He told me he did care about me and always have, and that his statement earlier about that didn't come out the way he wanted it to.
Well I told him who my new T was, and yes my T has known him for over 20 years. He said he was glad I had chosen him especially since he does EMDR. He asked me if we talked about that yet. I said yes, in fact I got reemed out yesterday with the EMDR in fact. I looked at him and I said it was about the feelings I was having over him and what he had said to me in our last session. I think my old T was really taken back from that. I said I never thought I would use EMDR about our relationship, but it was gut wretching, and left me emotionally exhausted last night and this morning. I slept in until 10pm. He was listening to me and then he asked why my new T didn't want me to see him. I told him that he thought he , and not just him, but any therapist, including my new T who has worked with a client as long as he has with me, with the ending we had, may become defensive. My T kinda amiled, and , said he said that hugh. I told him that my new T figured out who he was even before I told him his name. He kinda laughed and said yup, my new T knows him.
But he didn't get densive, maybe because I told him I was afraid he was going to.
I then asked him if something was going on with him before our session. He then told me he had some heart arthimia problems from the last 3 days, but it had settled down before the day of session. Well I said that I think it still effected him like it did before. I told him I think when he gets like that he seems to have less patients and less sensitivity when he is having those problems. He said I was probably right.
Some of this stuff is out of order, but he asked me if I like working with my new therapist. I said yes, I belive I mad a good decision. I said he is warm and fuzzy guy and that is kinda what I needed. He said yeah, I am not really the warm fuzzy type of guy. I said well I feel you probably are at times, but not that I will ever see. We laughed. I told him how my new therpist have me insites on how therapy effects the therapist. About how to keep boundries and yet still keep your senistivity. I told him that he told me about how some clients have pushed his buttons at times where he acted inappropiately, and that all T's are human. He didn't say anything, but I think he knew what I was saying without me even saying it. I did tell him that what happened was about him, that it wasn't about me, because I wasn't being any more difficult then I am usually am. He kinda agreed, I don't think he liked that I said that.I told him that I did know him even some of his faults even if he didn't think so, I said I have sat in this chair for over 2 years, and I think I do know you, and I still think you are a great guy. This was pretaining to an earlier session where he said I really don't know his faults.
The whole session things were okay, and nice, and he listened to me. I am still feeling kinda exhausted even now. I think I will post more later about the rest, after a nap.
poster:Happyflower 1 :-)
thread:778285
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070822/msgs/778352.html