Posted by muffled on August 30, 2007, at 21:51:59
In reply to Re: OK Guys, can you help me here? *religion trigg » muffled, posted by LlurpsieNoodle on August 30, 2007, at 17:58:31
> Muffled,
> you've given her PLENTY of opportunities to refer you elsewhere for treatment. You've considered her feelings and the possibility of countertransference. You've considered whether she's competent to deal with your case.**I wonder if I'll EVER be SURE?
>
> I think you covered your bases really well. Now you are in the icky spot of WAITING to see if she will take your bait. You have been waiting for some time now, and she's not biting. What next?**Sigh, good analogy....she just keeps staying the same my T...I don't honestly understand it? Why DOESN'T she run????
>
> I think that maybe it's time to take a step back, reestablish the T-Muff relationship. I *know* you're not doing really hot right now. I'm so worried about you. I wonder if zoloft will help you like it helped me. It REALLY helped me. I didn't even get manic or anything (I think pdoc was holding his breath or something)**Its weird, but the relationship never went away really....it used to be SO gone after I left, after bout 24 hrs, but now it lingers, its SO cool that way now...
I am SO med non compliant....I only lasted a week. I spose ...ah hell I dunno. I'm just some sort of masochistic idiot or something, I dunno WHY I won't take the meds, guess I just hate the way they make me feel. I am tired alot at best, and meds make it worse...I just can't stand it..
>
> You can ALWAYS deal with the trauma stuff. Now, later, whenever. If it's in the back of your throat like acid vomit, it's probably time to let it out. Other times it's safer to focus on more superficial stresses. Like the transition from summer to school year. That's a transient thing, but it's real. It's okay to say "I'm human, I can only deal with so much on my own". Sometimes just being a mom or a wife or a person is already ENOUGH. It's okay to wait until a more secure moment to bring out the bad stuff and hang it out on the line.**Part of my prob is I DON'T have memories, zip, zero, nada. Got nothing to hang on the line but disembodied emotions and triggers that make no sense. I think my best bet is to just try and access my (non-verbal) little one and relay what she FEELS, and try and understand, and try to find a way to communicate with her, cuz I have been unable to do so.She seems to be the one with the most probs as far as I can tell....
>
> now I talk about myself. Nah, I'll start my own post below.
>
**OK> Well, muff, take care, and your ambivalence is NOT pathological. it's very very normal, and definitely expected. Upheaval can be overwhelming though, and I want you to take the best care of yourself that you possibly can.
**Thx for that.
I guess I'll do my best. I just goto keep in mind that I got a family that needs me....
AND, I proly damaged my kids, but I am the one that knows their history, so I need to be here to help them with any residual dyfunctions that show up as a result.
:-(
:-(
:-(
:-(
> hugs,
> -LluptienoodleThx.
M
poster:muffled
thread:779739
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070822/msgs/779848.html