Posted by seldomseen on September 7, 2007, at 8:15:26
In reply to Ugh! That T word again -- not tintinabulation..., posted by Racer on September 7, 2007, at 1:30:36
I've been dealing with this same issue a lot lately.
You're right, it requires a lot of work to process how you view being needy, how you ask for what you need and how you react when you don't get it (even if you ask).
I always seem to translate not getting what I need from people (especially when I get the guts to ask) into some catastrophic deficiency about myself. I feel like I am a horrible burden to people sometimes.
So I just end up blowing the whole needy thing into a question of whether or not I MERIT getting what I need.
So, I go along, convinced that I don't need anything from anybody and that needing something is devilish, because the consequences of NOT getting it are so bad.
But I have an inkling - just an inkling mind you - that I'm thinking about this incorrectly.
I beginning to see that as a human being we have an absolute right to ask for and get what we need from the people in our lives. We deserved to get it from our parents - although we may not have.
What I'm working on is viewing the consequences of not getting what I need from people as less a question of MY deficiencies. I'm hoping it will take away some of the catastrophic nature of NOT getting it.
I hope my thoughts on this help you because I know how this can weigh on a person, but I'm afraid this may have gotten a little rambly.
Take good care
Seldom
poster:seldomseen
thread:781315
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070904/msgs/781343.html