Posted by Dinah on October 4, 2007, at 10:08:13
In reply to major social anxiety attack, posted by widget on October 4, 2007, at 9:40:52
While I'm not at all shy, I have relatively severe social anxiety. Going to functions at my son's school, particularly, is a nightmare for me.
I have to do these sort of things sometimes. It's much better if you have something you can focus on, like kids or dogs, but there are tricks to going about it otherwise.
If at all possible, I look for someone who looks as uncomfortable as I do, and think of myself as trying to help them feel more comfortable. Even in the most sophisticated groups of people, there are usually one or two that are also socially anxious. If you can get past the shininess of their appearance, it is sometimes detectable.
It's always easier when I'm with my husband. He's pretty much at ease socially. So I stick to him, laugh when everyone else does, and add a comment or two, safe at his side.
If you know anyone well enough to join their group, even on the periphery, that helps.
And restaurants sometimes aren't bad. If it's sit down, you only have to concentrate on the people immediately around you. If there's an extrovert or two in the group, you can sit quietly and enjoy them. Or concentrate on your food. Food also makes for easy conversational topics.
It's not fun for me. And I make sure I take an Advil first, or maybe even half a Klonopin. And I come away buzzy. But if you think of it as something you're doing for your husband, maybe that will see you through.
Do you feel comfortable with the clothing situation? That's always an area where I'm stuck. They all seem to shop at the same shops. And even if I shopped there, I would look completely different. But have your husband ok your ensemble beforehand. It's his group, and he really has the responsibility.
poster:Dinah
thread:786828
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070929/msgs/786831.html