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Re: Ok, THIS I THINK I understand. » Dinah

Posted by jane d on October 6, 2007, at 0:25:31

In reply to Ok, this I can understand., posted by Dinah on October 2, 2007, at 13:11:02

> My therapist said something recently that T3 also said. That I needed to learn to tolerate pain, and not try to escape it. I don't recall the context with T3, I've blocked most of that out. But with my therapist it was in regard to my binging in various areas.
>
> I just didn't get it and told him so. They seemed to be viewing pain as a static thing. But it's not. Once the neurochemicals start cascading, they just don't stop. Tolerating it doesn't help. Being overstimulated causes each small stimulus (noise, touch, light, stressful events) to cause more and more adrenaline and cortisol or whatever to come out and it snowballs out of control. Then the sleep disruption adds to the trouble, etc. Tolerating it isn't going to stop it from escalating. And at some point it becomes intolerable. I guess eventually my adrenal gland would give up, exhausted. But when? Weeks?
>
> At first my therapist said something about being able to tolerate this much pain as opposed to that much pain, so the extra is less to deal with. But I told him I still didn't understand.
>
> So he switched his course and said that he thought I was unwilling to tolerate the pain involved in making the practical changes that would stop this pathological pain, and stop the cascade of chemicals. That because I was afraid of moving, I was bringing a different type of pain down on myself. And so I needed to be willing to tolerate this sort of pain and anxiety.
>
> Now this I can understand, and even agree with. I usually do refuse to make decisions for fear that the devil I don't know will be way worse than the one I do know. That's something I can learn to try to tolerate. And it's far more reasonable and less all encompassing than "you need to tolerate pain better."

I think I understand!

I like the escalating cascade image. I think it makes your experience of overstimulation very clear. I may also borrow it. It should also work as an analogy to explain my own experience with spiraling emotions. In both cases I think tolerating something that is endlessly getting worse would is nuts. And that's the way I've always heard "tolerate pain" used.

I like your therapist's clarification. I wonder if that's what other therapists really mean? (somehow I suspect not - I think it is just repeated ritually as an incantation by many).

Jane


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poster:jane d thread:786485
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070929/msgs/787194.html