Posted by rskontos on October 6, 2007, at 11:09:56
In reply to Re: try again » muffled, posted by RealMe on October 6, 2007, at 11:01:25
yes, I agree. I know how you feel. I don't like it so much anymore. Like I said in my other post, a T that likes it maybe can help more. he is taking it personally and you don't really mean it personally. Men take this that way because they can't understand what we really mean. For him it is a visually physically thing, for us it is a mentally emotional thing. Emotionally you are drained, you are separated from. The emotionally part is governed more by the child inside and she does not like it so therefore right now you don't really. He can't understand that. Somehow maybe T can help you reach a middle ground where he can try to find an level of intimacy that can touch the adult you and let inner child realize it will ok and go away while you the adult has an ok time. Maybe that will work I don't know. I understand what the problem is for both but no solution yet. Maybe understanding at this point is all there is and time will work it out. But men and women have always differed on this topic, thousands of books on the subject, tons of shows from Oprah Dr Phil and many many will testify too. So this isnt' the first time this issue comes up but knowing why it hard for you is important for both of you and it is not your fault so don't be hard on yourself. It is hard for hard though not to take it so personal. I guess if I were in his shoes maybe I would take it that way too as rejection but he must try not to. I mean in all other aspects of your life he understands what you are going though he needs to understand this one aspect is the same. You still love him, the physcial part is just different for you to feel about than it is for him but for him it becomes so BIG. RK Hang in there.
poster:rskontos
thread:787237
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070929/msgs/787260.html