Posted by RealMe on October 30, 2007, at 23:31:36
In reply to Blurting, posted by DAisym on October 30, 2007, at 19:04:30
Daisy
My T encourages me to say when I am angry with him. Sometimes I wasn't aware until after I left and then would tell him later only to feel like he might want to dump me like my previous therapist when I got mad at him. So, now I can feel when I am getting angry with him for some comment he makes, for example. So, then we look at the links, and sometimes I get angry because he is hitting on something really touchy. Sometimes I am starting to feel too close to him, and I have a need to push him away, and then I can see it happening, and I can say I am starting to feel angry with you and I'm not really angry; I am feeling things about you, good feelings and it is scary." So, I can recognize when I am trying to push him away most of the time now and can talk about why it is I would want to push him away.
Today I was talking about how my husband and I got into it at my niece's wedding after he just left the ballroom and never came back for an hour and a half, and I found him talking to one of his brother's in the hall. ONe of his sisters got mad at the brother because he had abandoned his wife upstairs in the hotel when she got sick. So, that was Saturday night. My husband has been in the guest bedroom ever since and will not come out when I am at home. So, I was talking about it in therapy today, and my T says, "just like your mother." I got really pissed at him but didn't say anything as it was a link I did not care to have made. My mother would give me the silent treatment for days on end when she was upset with me. Now here is my husband doing the same thing. Don't want to hear about it, and certainly did not want to hear his comment, "It's such a tragic mismatch." I am not sure what he meant--that my husband and I are a tragic mismatch???? I don't think he would say that since he has never met my husband. But I got upset with the whole thing, and I don't know why.
Came home from my women's group tonight, though, and there was my husband watching the debate. So, maybe he has had enough isolation. I won't apologize as I did nothing wrong by getting angry with him.
Anyway, I do the same thing with my T, and I have learned that he won't get angry with me for saying that I am angry. It gives us a chance to look at what is behind the anger.
RealMe
poster:RealMe
thread:792390
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20071022/msgs/792440.html