Posted by john79 on December 9, 2007, at 9:23:26
In reply to Re: Mutal attraction or just treatment plan, posted by estrellita on December 8, 2007, at 3:27:37
> I posted just a week or two with a question about having a crush on my therapist who is in training.
>
> The difference between my situation and yours is that he hasn't done ANYTHING to express an interest in me other than a professional one. Even if he is attracted, I'll never know because he's not going to jeopardize his future career and cross any ethical, legal, or therapeutic boundaries.
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> I let him know about the crush, so he knows there is attraction on my part. We discussed it, and it was awkward. But I came out of that session feeling more respect for him because I know that he values the work he's doing.
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> He discussed things with his supervisor prior to the session where we talked about it, and we discussed boundaries, transference, the nature of the therapeutic relationship, etc. It definitely wasn't the easiest conversation I've ever had, but I felt much better knowing that I could be honest with him and that he's going to be honest with me. Overall, the way he has handled the situation demonstrates his commitment to helping me with the goals I originally set, and his commitment to helping people with mental health issues more generally.
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> I didn't see anything in your email about your therapist having set goals with you, about her discussing the situation with her supervisor, etc. I did see that she started to nod off at one point.
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> There are two reasons that I would not see her again: (1) she has not handled the situation in a professional way - she refused to talk with you about transference even after you told her you've done some reading about that, sounds like she hasn't helped you with setting goals (i.e., what do you want to get out of therapy), etc. (2) apart from the attraction stuff and not handling it well, she's nodded off during session, has refused to educate you about topics even after you asked to discuss (transference), etc.
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> Even if the attraction weren't part of the picture, I'd suggest finding a different therapist. Sometimes transference can be used in a therapeutic way, but it seems like she's not that interested in helping you. Nor is she taking her work seriously.
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> Good luck.
>
>
Estrellita, thanks for your answer.You claim that maybe she is not willing to help me, but why wouldn't she?
She genuinly seems to like me, she works in a big academic hospital so she get's her money.
If you state this I feel very rejected. I read about counter resistance and how therapists can sabotage the therapy because they are anxious about their feelings.
Have you talked about this with your therapist?
poster:john79
thread:799374
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20071204/msgs/799694.html