Posted by muffled on December 12, 2007, at 13:11:19
In reply to Re: I went to T » muffled, posted by star008 on December 12, 2007, at 12:35:03
> haha muffled..takes one drunk to know another.. I thought you might be drinking a bit too much.. I did too and sometimes once in a while I have a few.. I am a full-blown alcoholic but I have beena ble to get away wth drinking once ina while.. probably helps that it makes me sick..You don't know it yet, you will though, that it f##ks up your thinking.. Life isn't easier without drinking but you don't get more of the added on stuff that it causes..I relapsed after almost 12 years a few months ago. It was like I just couldn't take it anymore.. Just needed an escape.
> You don't know what it does to you till you quit so you have to take my word for it:)..*I an alcoholic too. Was dry bout...mebbe 11 yrs?
I startign to realize its a prob, cuz it really bugging me to stop. I was a binge drinker too towards the end. Messed my liver some. I KNOW its wrong, but just like you said....I just wanted to escape...EXACTLY.
I am sure it F's up my thinking but not sure exactly how, but it don't work like it used to, the alcohol. I thot it might be good again after this many years but its not really. But don't stop me from trying, cuz its still in my head as how when I was a kid it was like a magic elixir. My T said all the right addictions stuff at my last session.
Stuff I knew after all the treatment I went thru, but I was managing to ignore...> I laughed about you covering the drawing stuff up.. Sneaky little kids did it;)..She is isn't so bad, she is funny too..
*Ya, T most always gets one of my kids laughing, she WAY too funny.
> I don't remember alot of my stuff either when I let another talk.. I do remember but it is kind of foggy and some things I need to be reminded of..Most of the time those are hard sessions and it takes me a few days to recover.*Yeah. I bounced back fairly quick after this one. By today I am fine. I think it wasn't hard for content. It was just hard for me to allow another one out, and just let it be so.
I felt like such a nuthead. T was real good bout it though. I have no idea of how she looked cuz I NEVER looked at her the entire session.
> No One knows about my ikids either..Who the h..ll would understand that but babble people?? everyone else would think we were nuts. But you know,, we know about yours and still we come back to talk to you and support you.. We like you and we understand the Ikids and being confused. YOu aren't any more a weirdo than anyone else..We are the weirdos that know they are sick and are working on it..The world is full of "normal" weirdo people walking around in their f@@cked up lives.. Our reactions to things that happened in our lives is perfectly normal.. It is normal to split off when there is too much trauma.. So many things can be trauma to a kid too.. Ever notice how some kids are so sensitive that they get really hurt when they are reprimanded and others don't seem to care?? We are the ones who were hurt so easily.. It is not a fault..We are just wired that way,.*you a smart cookie star. You'd proly make a good T!!!
> I don't know wtf a straight-up converstaion means either.. maybe you just gave facts without emotion?? She didn't mean anything bad by it so ask her..*Ya I sent email. She sent one back. It actually was good, but part of it annoyed me, so I sent another one, and then i say I send no more and I will shut TF up.
> If you can't be on will you at least send some one-liners so I know you are okay?? I worry about you.. I know where you are and how it feels.
*Thanks star, I appreciate that. I rarely stay away long. Just sometimes I get kinda addicted to computer so I goto back away.
Don't worry none bout me. I have had somewhat crazy times in my life, but I survived. Here I am.> I will still let you know where I am with things now but this is getting to be too long.. Later I will write one.. look for it.. But muffled there is no easy way through the pain... It can be easier than we make it on ourselves sometimes but it is still hard and takes so long...
*No easy way. Guess I just goto accept that the way i've had to just accept so many damn things in the last while.
I wish it was more clear as to how we DO the healing thing, so i could fastrac the process. I just feel like I must be such a damn drag as a client cuz I so wimpy and stupid lately. I would hate to think I was the client my T dreads to see. I started out seemingly so average, but then all whats really there is showing, and I feel like a shitball. My T proly thot I was a nice lady, and now she proly thinks WTF, I wish she'd never come here.
It just seems so SLOW.
Once a week, then wait. Stew, wonder.
Arrrggghhh.
Mayhap I a tad grumpy????
LOL.
M
poster:muffled
thread:800256
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20071204/msgs/800354.html