Posted by muffled on December 17, 2007, at 14:58:48
In reply to Re: Hi » muffled, posted by Poet on December 17, 2007, at 11:56:04
Thanks SO much for your support guys.
Yeah, I'll be OK. Always am it seems.
Sorta scarey though. Once you take off those blinders of denial.....
Once you lose the ability to dissociate as easily as you once did.....
Well. it surely is a challenge.
And I even been wondering WHY I find it SO strange that people are kind to me....
My T, sent me the sweetest mail. She said she was deeply thankful I was OK! DEEPLY!!!! She was releived she heard from me, she EVEN said "boy, I am releived.." Sure, she says alla the time she cares, but that bounces away, but when she say 'boy she releived', and 'deeply thankful' and stuff, it seems more real.....wow, its so weird for me to imagine such a thing...and yet she has said it SO many times, there is NO reason for me to disbeleive her, but I find it INCOMPREHENSIBLE that she cares. This is so weird to me. I think it may be important for me to understand this.
DAMN! Y'know, while scarey....y'know...oh MAN...y'know, it kinda actually feels kinda weirdly GOOD to think she actaully cares...I dunno. Its just wierd.But I think maybe its a good thing.....
Anyhow....we get to go for a walk tomorrow. My T got a chunk of time so we gonna go for a hike and be in nature.
I feel like maybe I am on the cusp of understanding some important concepts.....
Excuse the religious aspect, cuz I not doing good at religion, but I inclined to wonder if God is at work, cuz I think a number of people are praying for me. And this sort of thing is JUST the way Gods always worked in my life. He gets my attn, in a way I understand, but gently, always gently(or gently to my way of thinking LOL!).
So maybe I won't be so stuck. Cuz I been really stuck.
I will try to be a more helpful babbler eventually. Meantime I will try and post so that maybe someone elses journey can be eased by learning from my experiences. Cuz if there's one thing I learned on babble, no matter how weird or dumb or whatever we think we are....we are SO NOT alone!!!!
Thanks so much guys, your caring means alot.
I feel a little hope again. I'd lost it.
I want to help others someday.
Maybe I will.
Maybe I will.
Thank you.
Muffled
poster:muffled
thread:801114
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20071215/msgs/801317.html