Posted by dancinbillie on December 26, 2007, at 13:39:08
In reply to Re: What is wrong with me???? » dancinbillie, posted by Bodhisattva on December 26, 2007, at 11:09:36
Bless your hearts, both of you. I really appreciate your posts. I imagine that because in the world I grew up and the people I grew up with classified bi- and/or homosexuality as "aberrant," my first reaction to these (immensely pleasurable) sexual feelings and dreams about XX was panic.
XX is the first woman with whom I've truly wanted to engage in sexual activity. Prior, yes, I would fantasize about women and visualize them having sex, but was not interested in participating. This time is very different. I talked to my husband of 12 years about this (we've been together since childhood, started dating in 1978) and been very open with him - his reaction was that the only thing that concerned him is that I would decide I'd rather be with a female partner and so would leave him. He himself went through a period of several years, till he was 25 or so, during which he engaged in sex with men, and I certainly had a lot of feelings about that . . . not the least of which was arousal . . .
I've also talked with my one sister about it, and she's fine with it too - in fact, she said it didn't surprise her at all, which actually made me feel a little weird! I've mentioned it to my mom, very briefly, but I know she understood and didn't give me a hard time about it.
I talked with my T about it today, just a bit, and we're going to talk further about it on Friday. She noticed a pattern, in that every "crush" I've had on a woman (starting back in 1st grade) has been on a woman in a caretaking role. I'm adopted and have always had some attachment issues, particularly with my mom when I was young - my T describes this as "insecure attachments."
Sorry for babbling on and on - and thank you so much for listening!
DB
> As for your recent thoughts and attraction, there's absolutely nothing wrong with you. People evolve throughout their lives and our sexuality is no different. Perhaps you should explore these newfound tastes. The way I see it, sources of pleasure in this world are few enough why keep yourself from one? At the very least you would satisfy your curiosity.
>
> Whatever you decide to do, try to be honest with those around you. It's a hard thing to do and I've struggled with it myself, but the results are always beneficial.
poster:dancinbillie
thread:802438
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20071215/msgs/802723.html