Posted by Nadezda on September 20, 2008, at 11:34:34
In reply to Your feelings about your partner's T, posted by Wittgensteinz on September 20, 2008, at 4:22:00
I'm sure that my bf went to a therapist to get help in dealing with my being so depressed and semi-suicidal. It used to worry me a lot that he was angry about how irritable and self-absorbed I was and how much I depended on him for support and help in just getting through the day.
I wasn't sure if he was sick of me, or just needed to vent-- but in retrospect, I think he was really worried and upset and didn't know how to respond and how to protect himself (I guess I can really understand that he needed to). Maybe he found it hard to stay in the relationship with me, but I don't think he was considering leaving it, except when we both were. (I went through a period of thinking I couldn't stay in it too.)
So I was often afraid or paranoid about what he was saying about me. But I now think he was doing it with good, caring intentions.
It's hard to think about, really, because it was such a difficult time for me, and I don't like remembering how I felt or how I was.
But I can understand your concerns. At the same time, what's more important is whether your bf cares about you and is going to get help with his own issues, and, if with yours, from the point of view of doing his best.
It's always been true that I"ve been the "problem" or "sick" person in the relationship. But if it's true that you have the internal conflicts-- I guess there's something about that that he finds internally meaningful too. I think you have to accept that your bf loves you and finds many qualities that make it worth being with you and enrich his life. At least, in my good moments, that's what I hope. So no matter what he tells his T, I don't think anything will change that-- if anything maybe it will help you both cope better.
Nadezda
poster:Nadezda
thread:853056
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080920/msgs/853090.html