Posted by Racer on October 1, 2008, at 22:38:45
In reply to Re: I know this is mean, and maybe I am really a b » Wittgensteinz, posted by lemonaide on October 1, 2008, at 18:48:37
> Like I said I know what happened in these licensing procedures, and they are not very kind to client.
Actually, I didn't find that to be at all true. For those who don't remember -- which I assume is most here, by the way ;-) -- I had a nightmare experience a few years back, while uninsured and unable to choose doctor/therapist. To make a long story short, the nightmare I experienced led to a relapse into Anorexia Nervosa, I lost one third of my body weight, became severely agoraphobic, and was generally speaking a basket case. Even the weight loss was not noted -- and I read my chart, at no time did anyone say, "This one has lost a couple of pounds." In fact, at one point, the T wrote that I had complained of having trouble with food, but then denied purging or fasting. (Of course I wasn't fasting -- now ask if I was eating more than 400 calories per day?) So, in my case, there was some very visible physical deterioration, as well as the psychic trauma.
I drafted complaints about the doctor, the therapist, and the agency involved, sent them out to the appropriate licensing boards, and know that an investigation was launched. For a long time, I was kinda obsessed with that investigation -- until I started to think about what the investigation really meant to me? Nothing ever went to court, the T and pdoc were never reprimanded, although the agency itself apparently was.
What about me? I finally looked at the whole thing from a little more distance. What I wanted, was validation -- FROM THEM! And I was never going to get that. So, I had a choice: I could look at *why* I still wanted that validation from people I did not respect, and work on that with a competent therapist, or I could continue to let that live on for me. After all, I'm pretty sure that NONE of them even remember who I am! So, why was I giving them so much power over me?
Moving on helped me the most -- although I gotta tell you, sending off those complaints made it a hell of a lot easier for me to let it go. The only one of the three complaints that required me to be interviewed was the complaint against the agency itself -- and that was an enormously empowering experience for me. I took in photographs, taken at that time, along with copies of my chart, showing the doctor's note that I was a "well nourished white female," and I could see the look on the director's face. I know that they acted, even if I do not know what they did.
And what helped me most was looking at why I was so desperate for that validation from the people at fault -- I was getting a hell of a lot of validation from everyone else, so why did it matter so much that it come from them?
>I think being honest with what I write isn't hateful, maybe it is sad what happened to me, and inappropriate, but it isn't me who did the actions.
I won't speak for Wittie, but what worries me most is that you seem to be holding on to it so much. Regardless of your reasons, regardless of the damage you suffered -- I still find myself asking whether finding a way to move on might not be a healthier use of your time? I realize this is partly projection, from my own experience, but I also think it might be a good topic for examination.
> I know like many abuses, many people would rather not know, they just want to bury their heads in the sand, but this only allows it to continue.
Except -- this also allows it to continue. Truly -- a complaint to the licensing board would be a much more effective way to make this sort of thing stop. Here's what I learned through my experience: even if they do not act on your complaint, even if they investigate and find nothing, even if their experts decide it's not worth investigating -- the complaints stay in the files for a period of time before they're completely gone. If, during that time, someone else files a complaint, the presence of another, similar complaint strengthens the idea that someone needs to investigate.
For that matter, maybe he already has complaints in his file, and yours would be all it took to stop him?
By the way, I am personally disturbed whenever I see identifying information about doctors or Ts posted here. I can't necessarily put my finger on it, but I just find myself very uncomfortable. It was hard for me to look at your blog, for that reason. I don't know why I'm saying that, because it is your right to post it on your blog, but that always makes me so uncomfortable -- maybe because I do feel so strongly that complaints are more appropriate? Dunno...
poster:Racer
thread:854872
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080920/msgs/855217.html