Posted by Dinah on October 7, 2008, at 16:43:26
I followed up with my therapist today about giving me the name of his proposed foster therapists for me should anything happen to him. (I originally wrote "to me".) To my surprise, he grabbed a piece of paper and wrote down three names. I had also blathered on about the need for pre-need succession planning for his practice and offered to bring in an article. I told him that he had always struck me as someone who didn't like to think about those things.
Then I felt awful, because he said that he's got some medical issues he's getting tested for. I should mention that he didn't exactly pop out with that. It had to do with some interplay between his reaction and my semipsychicness. I've taken to responding to subtle nonverbal cues on his part as if he had said something out loud, and he's taken to answering me as if he had indeed said it out loud. But however it came about, I found out he's getting tested right now. He's had swelling of the feet and he's getting his veins ultrasounded. I also am aware that he recently had blood drawn, or gave blood, because he came in with a bandage once.
He told me he really didn't want to tell me this, because he didn't want me to worry. And I reminded him that I'd worry a lot more and to less effect if I thought he wasn't telling me things.
Hmmmm... He probably thought I'd brought it up because I'd noticed something was wrong or because I really was psychic. I remember the time I had that dream he was pregnant and came in all upset...
Now naturally I am a bit worried. Not overmuch I don't think, but some. Apart from all else, he usually puts me off when I ask for those names. Tells me he'll think about it and make a list. And I suppose I wonder how much I should be worried. He's four or five years older than I am, and if I look at him with detachment I suppose I'd notice he has gained a fair amount of weight over the years. Of course his career keeps him sitting for long periods of time.
He's promised not to die before I do, and I intend to keep him to that.
I noted that all three names were men. I asked him if he agreed with Babble that I do better with a man? He said that he thought he did. I asked him if that meant I should maybe see a woman? And he said maybe, if I could tolerate it. But he looked pretty skeptical about my willingness to tolerate much of anything.
That was of course before he said anything about his health. Now I'm feeling really guilty. Or maybe more than semipsychic. I sure hadn't noticed anything. He's seemed pretty relaxed and happy lately.
poster:Dinah
thread:856246
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20081005/msgs/856246.html