Posted by DAisym on October 11, 2008, at 13:17:30
In reply to Re: Disclosure » Annierose, posted by lemonaide on October 11, 2008, at 9:51:45
I probably should leave this alone - but I want to try one more time to clear some of this up.
I am totally willing to allow you all your anger - the whole context of your therapy and the damage that has been done is worthy of anger. What I was pointing out is that specific sentences, taken out of context, can seem worse than they were meant to be.
For example - the sentence you cited. My therapist never said we'd be good in bed together. When I asked him if sex with him would likely be better than sex with my then-husband, he said, "probably, because we know each other intimately." The whole discussion was about allowing another person to see your wounds and how sex is so much more than the physical act or how it can be only that. He was talking about how I would perceive the sex, how it would feel emotionally, not whether we could turn each other on or swing from the chandeliers. I am well aware that many of his, or my, statements seem odd or scary when standing alone. I'm glad he risks this - I think a lot of the coldness that therapist project comes from their fear of showing caring and how it can be turned against them.
I guess what I was really trying to say is that when you give someone specific things to argue against or defend - like each sentence - the overall picture gets lost. So if half of these sentences are "innocent" (I hear you saying they weren't) then doubt begins to form and a review panel begins to waiver. Describing the whole of it, the tone of it and the end result of it, is much more effective if you are going to file a complaint.
I didn't mean to upset you. I appreciate that you tried to see and believe that. I'm sure you must feel like no one in the world really believes or understands what you went through. Therapists seem to have so much power - like lawyers. It is frustrating.
poster:DAisym
thread:856394
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20081005/msgs/856924.html