Posted by llurpsienoodle on December 5, 2008, at 16:41:16
So, I've been kinda speedy lately. It usually only bothers me a couple hours a day, but I haven't been able to fall asleep for the last 6 weeks without a sleeping pill- I take either ambien or sonata.
But in the past 10 days or so, I've been a bit off. Buying crap I don't need (*however-- supporting the economy, I suppose) and lots and lots of pressured speech. T noticed today that I was rushing through stuff and jumping from one topic to another. For the most part I can keep it under wraps, but I have said/done a couple of reckless things this week-- for instance, I was playing Rorschach cards with a classmate, and all of my interpretations were creatively gruesome. After about the 3rd card, he looked at me with concern and said "Did you take your meds this morning". Sh*t, I thought... Does he *know* I'm on meds? Uh Oh. I paused. Awkward silence. "Um, sure". And then a few minutes later, another classmate asked me "How do you spell Wellbutrin? One L or two?" It was all I could do to avoid rummaging around in my pharmaceuticalpurse and getting out my bottle of wellbutrin and saying "Hmmm, 2 L's."
The next morning a prof asked me if I had written my term paper on suicide because I was feeling suicidal. Um no! (The truth is that I haven't had suicidal thoughts in a couple of months, maybe 2 mos?-- Progress, see?).
And in class yesterday, Prof put up a slide of a run-over possum and queried, "If you were a possum, and just saw your friend get run over, what would you do?" I blurted out "I would probably go over and start eating him, because possums eat everything-- they're scavengers". Another awkward silence. The professor looked at me and said "You need a shrink!" Well, it was a funny moment, but I kind of felt conspicuously psycho.
Must. Resist. The. Urge. To. Self-disclose.
T suggested that I exercise every day to chill out. That sounds good, I suppose. I went on a 20 minute walk, which sounds like nothing, but when you have asthma and a cold and it's 39 degrees outside, 20 minutes is enough!
Okay, I blather on.
Unrelated, T made another inappropriate joke. I was wondering out loud whether I should ask this one prof to write me a letter of recommendation? T said "Sure, ask him, and you can tell him that you'll make it worth his while"
T???!!! WTF! Don't get me started. BAD T!!! Don't make me snort coffee all over your oriental rug!!
He looked at me impishly and said "I couldn't resist".
I decided to ignore him and go on with my story.
oh dear god.
I better shut up now.
SLOW DOWN!!!
-Ll
poster:llurpsienoodle
thread:866892
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20081205/msgs/866892.html